Confession #16: I’m Just Sick Of It

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You know what… I could write another elaborate post about most bullshit that Shellirene has brought up once more in Rya’s blog…

I could write again, because keep in mind, this is how the heirarchy of this has gone:

— She posted first.
— We responded.
— She posted again.
— We responded.
— She has posted replies to various blogs (note here that she doesn’t have the balls, it seems, to come to mine)
— We have responded.

She keeps saying that we can’t let it go, but she’s the one that starts the cycle over again.  A conversation takes place when one person says something and another responds.  You can’t just say something else and then walk away, not expecting someone to respond to you.  That’s like, “Hey, what’s you’re favourite color?” and then walking away before they answer, or logging out of SL before they get to say anything back.  It’s dumb and counter-productive.

Then again… nevermind.

Anyway, I could write another post here, but all I will say is this… and I would encourage Rya, Flame, Sarah, Sydney, and all the others who have had to deal with Shell’s shit to listen closely… Master told me this several times today and I think it’s incredibly applicable here.

You can’t fix stupid.

Aaaaaaaaand unfortunately, we can’t.  No matter how hard we tried in class… and no matter how hard we tried afterwards.  We can’t fix it.

So as much as I don’t like advocating this… I vote we just give up.
And allow Linden Labs to handle it.
Because Terms of Service have been broken.
As have US laws.

Yes, a few phone calls are still on my to-do list.

Have fun!  😀

Confession #15: When You Don’t Know What You’re Talking About… SHUT UP!

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This has reached a WHOLE other level of fucked up crazy… so let’s have a conversation shall we?

Today’s story time with Tivi will be about bullying… and I’ll do my best to make it slightly shorter than my last thesis of a blog post…

I don’t understand… I just really don’t understand… how someone can be so mentally fucked up… as to tell someone to shove a chainsaw between their legs and turn it on high… to tell a group of people the following, and I quote, “I hope you all die, you motherfuckers,”… or to tell a woman who is sick, very sick, and I quote, “I hope you drop dead and die in a hospital” and “I hope as I say you drop dead, and that comes from my heart,”…

I don’t understand what kind of desperate fucked up person you have to be to say those sorts of things.  Hell… those of you in the Gorean community who occasionally still visit this blog because you think I’m a royal bitch and look for opportunities to point that out and kick me when I’m down… even THOSE of you, those of you who hate me, cannot look at me and say that even *I* have said things that horrible.  And I’m supposedly such a cunt.  Even I’m not that fucked up.

But I think the thing that confuses me the most… is that someone can say those things and then in the same breath (cause her punctuation is horrible, so it was quite literally in the same sentence, I’m pretty sure) accuse other people of being bullies… and being the reason that people kill themselves.

KILL THEMSELVES.  Those are powerful words.  You want to say that people who refused to let you graduate from a dance class because you’re a raging cunt who made everyone’s experience miserable, you want to say that THOSE PEOPLE who PROTECTED their class… THOSE PEOPLE CAUSE DEATH?

Oh… but it gets worse… but give me a minute… I have to pause… because thinking about some of the things she’s said are literally making me sick.

Ok… I think I’m ok for a bit…

Let’s get a few things straight… and I apologize to those who don’t want to revisit this issue… but it’s been brought up several times by this ignorant woman… so as one of very few people who actually has the authority to speak on what happened by being personally INVOLVED (p.s. this ignorant woman WAS NOT… EVER… involved)… as one of very few people who has the ability and the authority to speak on it, I feel it’s time that I have to.

The first time Shell brought up Kimmie was in a comment on her own blog, accusing Flame and I of being the reason people kill themselves because of bullying…

First of all… a side note… Flame never knew Kimmie.  (I personally view that as a great misfortune, because I feel like they would’ve gotten along well.)  So the whole reason that Shell mentioned Flame’s name in that first comment was because she didn’t have the balls to put Rya’s name there.  But she still wanted to bring it up to hurt Rya.  Also, it was in response to a comment Flame had left on the blog, and she wanted to say it to get at me and Rya… so she had to pose it like she was addressing Flame, but bringing my name into it as well.

Because she gets her kicks on making people’s lives hell.

Oh, but we’re the bullies.

Anyway… we didn’t exactly address it largely the first time we said it because of the reasons I just stated… we all knew why she’d said it, as a pathetic attempt to make a dig at Rya and I.  We addressed it… but we let it go.

However now… oh… now… now she’s gone too far.

In a comment left on this post on Rya’s blog , Shell stated to Rya, and I quote…

“so Rya I hope you rot in hell and drop dead in the hospital you and your girls are the reasons why people kill themselves, no wounder your so called friend ended it she most likely could not handle you and your girls. your enough to make a person end it. I hope as I say you drop dead. and that Rya comes from my heart.”

Now… as I have to swallow again to keep from physically getting ill from her words… I’d like to discuss the idea of bullying with you.  I’ll address Kimmie in a moment… but I’d like to just discuss bullying in general…

“Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.”

I quoted the definition that Rya found and pasted to her blog… because frankly I’m shaking too much and am too livid to go looking for it myself right now.  Let’s break this down a little bit… in true Tivi fashion… as much like “true Tivi” as I can be right now…  I’m going to use some fun font things and color coding to try and keep this stuff separate, because I’m going to address several things in each bullet point.  In bold-face will be the portion of the definition I’m addressing… in one color will be my response about us and how we conducted the classes, and in another color will be a parallel of how Shell has treated us.

  • “Bullying is unwanted…”When you signed up for Rya’s class, we mentioned that we were going to be nothing short of honest… and we asked all the students to let us know if they felt we were wrong in our constructive criticisms, or if we were being too harsh.  Shell never once came to me and told me that anything I said in class was too harsh for her… she decided to say after the fact when she began blogging about it that all we did was tear her down, etc etc etc. Shell, however… since this whole thing has happened… has repeatedly come at us, pursued us, attacked us. And keep in mind, she began everything with her initial blog post. So anything we’ve said is in response. But it’s like she needs the last word… so if we say anything, she comes back at us again, which solicits a response. If she would just shut up and let it go, then she would speak, we would respond, the issue would be closed. Of course it can’t happen that way… that would be logical. And adult-like.
  • “… unwanted, aggressive behavior…”I addressed the unwanted portion above… and I guess I sort of addressed the aggressive portion too… we never come at anyone in an attacking manner.  We are blunt.  We admit that from get-go that we’re blunt.  And we openly invite students to say, “Whoah… that was a bit harsh.  Could you explain your opinion again without being a bitch?”  So if Shell ever thought we were aggressive to her, then she should’ve spoken up in the classes.  The fact that she never did, and is bringing it up now, just shows that she is, once again, grasping at straws. Shell, on the other hand, has been outright attacking all of us since everything ended. Please see the directly quoted comments at the beginning of this blog post… which you can find on her website. I’m not going to link it here, as I can’t bring myself to give her traffic, but if you look her up in SL, she proudly links her horribly coded website on her profile. You can find it if you’d like to see just how many horrible things she’s said to us and about us.
  • “… that involves real or perceived power imbalance…”The “power imbalance” that would happen in the classes would be the separation that existed between teacher and student… however, that “status” was never used against the students.  The teachers were never hailed as being better than them.  In fact, our experiences were brought up as examples to let the students know we’ve been right where they are… we get the nervousness, the frustration, the emotions they’re feeling as they worked through their dances. Shell, on the other hand, loves to think that she’s better than us. She was always above correction in her dances, feels her work was perfect… as she loves to tell us that we couldn’t fail her on her dancing ability. Believe me… we could… but we had tried to be nice and give her the opportunity to continue to learn and improve. But she loves to feel like she’s better than everyone else, and with her various attacks, she makes it very clear… she is the perfect, amazing one… we are lower than the shit beneath her boots. She talks down to us constantly, showing us no respect as her former teachers… let alone fellow human beings.
  • “The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.”The thing about what we say in the classes is that no, it really can’t be repeated, unless you make the same mistakes, thereby making us give the same corrections.  Each student is different, and their weaknesses and improvement areas are different, so anything we say is not blanketly repeated to all the other girls.  Our constructive criticisms… yes, constructive, are as individual as the dancer. Clearly, if you see our need to respond more than once, you can also see that Shell has made such comments more than once. I will point out specifically, here, that she has brought up Kimmie specifically at least twice… and I have a feeling she will bring it up again after she realizes her behavior is being specifically addressed again. I’m sure she’ll accuse me, at the very least, of being the reason Kimmie killed herself… since she’s already accused Rya.
  • “Bullying includes actions such as making threats…”The Passionate Heart of Dance Academy, Rya as it’s founder and Owner, nor have any of the other co-owners and fellow teachers… none of us have made any threats towards Shell.  Anything we have stated, such as removing her from the class, was never a threat.  It was never something that we held over her head, like, “If you don’t straighten up, we’re going to stop you from graduating.” This is one thing Shell has admittedly never done. I cannot find a threat she has made. So kudos, for not having breached this level of bullying.
  • “… spreading rumors…”This was the whole point of the class the night that we removed Shell from the classes before her final exam (yes, I’m saying again that she didn’t complete her final, so she didn’t graduate… because again she brought up that she feels she had)… we spent time pulling out notecards, chat logs, etc etc… because we didn’t want everything to come across as rumors or just personal problems with Shell.  We had the proof in her own words of how she talked to us, and we wanted to be sure to be fully open and honest with the other students before removing her from the class and not allowing her to graduate.  We have never once spread a single rumor about Shell. Not only has Shell spread rumors, she’s been the source of most of them. Sure, she can say, “This is what I heard from students,” whom she later revealed to be her former friend Reine in a last ditch effort to regain some control and throw her only remaining friend in the class under the bus. (Which, btw, Reine owned anything she said. The rest of it was purely Shell’s fabrication.) So yes, not only has Shell tried to spread vicious rumors about Rya, individual teachers, or the Passionate Heart as a whole… she has been the one to START these rumors. It should also be mentioned here that her blog posts are not her only attempts at spreading the rumors… she reached out to individuals who are currently in the Passionate Heart group or who used to be, boo-hoo’ing about being “persecuted.”
  • “… attacking someone physically or verbally…” – I do have to say again that no one in the Passionate Heart of Dance has physically or verbally attacked her.  Keep in mind, attacking is coming at them.  Anything that has ever been said to Shell has been in response to something she’s said or done.  She starts every conversation that she has posted (regardless of whether or not she has posted the very beginning of any of them or not)… and I can say this with FULL confidence, because none of us really wanted to talk to her.  Lol.  So any time we did, it was because she started a conversation with us and we felt obligated to respond, as teachers. Shell however has not only attacked us verbally… which can be seen several times in our various blogs where we’ve quoted it, or on her own blog. But I’d also like to take this opportunity to point out the griefing that was done at our graduation. We were griefed not once, but twice… with repetitive spam from an object that was titled with a racial slur that is such a form of hate speech that I really don’t feel comfortable repeating it (though I’m not sure why race came to play… maybe she thought she was being clever and we wouldn’t know it was her?)… and there were light explosions and very loud sounds… and while I understand that our avatars are only pixels, those of you that know me well know that I’m epileptic. The light explosions and flashing lights nearly set me into a seizure. I had to move my camera below the graduation to keep from being set off (and I’m thoroughly convinced that the amount of exposure I had to the lights is a contributing factor to why my seizure that I DID end up having Sunday night was as bad as it was… the severity of which can be confirmed by my Master, as we were in Skype at the time that it happened.) So yes, I would very much consider her griefing a physical attack. How did we know it was her? First of all, our graduations have never been griefed before, and so I find it hard to belief that it’s a coincidence that this one just so happens to be the first one. Also, both attacks took place during Dani’s dance, the person that Shell seemed to direct 99% of her aggression towards when she was actually IN the classes. Granted, since she’s been gone, she’s been flinging her shit at Rya, Flame, myself, Sarah, Dani, and anyone else who manages to utter a word that might even suggest she’s wrong… but during the classes, Dani was the person that she was so hyper-focused on. The first attack occurred during Dani’s dance. The second attack occurred after we got everything settled down again and Dani re-started her dance. And finally, during the second attack, one of the avatars (which was conveniently made on the day that we kicked Shell out of the school) made specific vulgar comments about “Happy Graduation”, etc etc. If it was just a random griefer griefing because the event was heavily populated, why would they know it was a graduation? And better yet, why would they care?
  • “… and excluding someone from a group on purpose.”Now, I’m sure Shell would love to have you believe that we excluded her from graduation on purpose, and so… OMG! we bullied her!  However, I have to think that telling a student that she is not going to graduate is completely different than throwing a party and purposely not inviting her, or some other form of action that would actually constitute bullying. While Shell never excluded us from a ‘group’ of hers… because frankly none of us wanted to be around her… she purposely excluded herself from classroom activities, and tried to single herself out. Granted, this was also a tactic so that she could later say, “You helped all of them, but you didn’t help me,” when she neither asked for help nor felt the need to participate in the activity that the class was doing at the time. For example, as you’ve seen on other blogs if you’ve been following this situation, the students were asked to get a specific costume for the graduation group dance (for which Rya gave Shell the lindens, by the way…) Flame bought textures to give the girls to modify their skirts, and so while skirts were all around the arena and girls were trying to fix theirs, Shell sat on her ass, not participating and not doing anything. When she was asked if she had gotten the costume and was going to work on it like the rest of the class, she outright stated, “No, I’ll do it later on my sim.” We never excluded her. She chose to exclude herself. And letting her was simply easier than pulling teeth to get her to do what she was supposed to do. If that makes us bad teachers… well then, we were bad teachers with her. Whatever.

I hope that through that extensive (and colorful!) break down of the definition of bullying, I made it very clear that we (and by we I mean anyone and everyone who has ever been involved in the Passionate Heart of Dance as a student, teacher, Owner, or bystander) never once bullied Shell, nor have we even thought about it.  Did we not like her?  Of course we didn’t.  She was a raging bitch who made our class experience miserable.  Did we loathe her continued presence in the classes?  Absolutely we did.  Again, she made our classroom experiences hell, and gave most of us migraines by the end of the two-hour period.  But did we ever… EVER… even so much as THINK about bullying her?  No.  Never.  And I say that with COMPLETE sincerity.

And let me tell you why…

Kimmie was an amazing woman.  She was always good for a laugh, and she was a genuine babygirl to the nth degree.  For those of you who don’t know what a babygirl submissive is… please feel free to ask and we can talk about it, because they’re very different than any other type of submissive or slave… they are super special, and I feel like they’re amazing.  I love being around them.  They’re so bubbly and fun.  And when I’m not stressed out or livid at cuntrockets like Shellirene Resident, I have a few babygirl tendencies myself.

I remember one night when Sir Dark, Kimmie, Bryannah, and I were all hanging out, and Sir Dark casually assigned Kimmie the nickname of Arsenic.  Kimmie had this thing… she called those self-important boys who called themselves “Dominants” or “Masters” but wouldn’t know their ass from a hole in the ground… she called them “Dumb-doms” (yes, like Dum Dums suckers… it’s a babygirl thing…).  And Kimmie had this way of tearing a Dumb-dom three ways from Sunday without even so much as batting an eyelash.  She was ruthless when you fucked with her like that, and she was very strong in her convictions.  Hence, Arsenic.

We all laughed and Sir Dark rounded on me and said, “Oh don’t even think you’re getting off easy, Cyanide.”  You see, Cyanide is a deadly poison that tastes incredibly harmless.  I’m told it tastes like almonds, however I’ve not personally tasted it (obviously), and it’s not exactly an experiment I want to run with someone.  “Here, drink cyanide and before you die, tell me how it tastes.”  Not safe.  So anyway, I’m told it tastes like almonds, but is still incredibly deadly.  Sorta like how I’ve developed this innate ability to piss people off in the worst way.. all with a smile on my face and in my voice, and the politest language that I can possibly use.

Bryannah jokingly referred to herself as Poison Ivy afterwards… because no matter how hard you tried, she could bug the shit out of you and wouldn’t go away until you paid attention to her.  Honestly, I love Bryannah and would never consider her a nuisance.  However, we all got a laugh out of the nicknames that night.

Cyanide has sorta stuck with me ever since.  And it’s all because of Kimmie.  Arsenic.

Anyway, I tell you this story about Kimmie because she and I were close at one point in time.  Of course, around the time that she killed herself we’d had a falling out that had never quite gotten fully repaired yet.  Kimmie and Rya were the ones that were SUPER close, and I really wish I would’ve had the time to develop that friendship with Kimmie again.

Her last words to me in Skype were, “Yay hugs!”  Her back had been hurting a lot lately and I had hugged her gently.

However… Shell wants to go around spouting off shit about Kimmie like she actually knows what happened… and she even had the nerve now to say to Rya that Kimmie probaby killed herself because of me and her… that Kimmie probably couldn’t stand being around us anymore.   And she went on to say that Rya was enough to make someone want to end it.  (See direct quote and subsequent link at the beginning of this post where you can see the full comment Shell left on Rya’s blog entry.)  I’ve been avoiding talking about Kimmie because I’ve been missing her a lot lately, but it seems now I have to address it… to put this particular piece to bed.

Kimmie killed herself for a lot of reasons.  She had a lot of RL stress with her job that was overwhelming her, and the school system she worked for was refusing to work with her and the special needs (physical and emotional needs, from what I’m told) children that she taught.  She was overwhelmed in numbers as the only teacher in her class and they refused to remove even 1 or 2 students from her… and some of the students they put with her were enough that she would have problems handling them if they were one on one, let alone part of a class.  One that insisted on screaming at her, hollering at her, constantly.  You don’t just holler at a babygirl.  They can be very sensitive.

And of course Kimmie was sensitive to these kids because she just wanted to make a difference in their lives.  All the screaming and hollering made her feel like she was failing them, because they were only getting worse instead of better.  At least, this particular overwhelming child was getting worse.  I’m not sure about her other students.

In addition to RL work, Kimmie had engaged in a relationship that was, admittedly, in the opinion of her friends (including myself and Rya) and even in her opinion towards the end, a mistake.  She had thought she was being brought into a poly family with a friend of hers… when in reality the friend was not comfortable with a poly situation.  Instead of being honest with Kimmie, the man… I’m sorry, the boy… led Kimmie to believe that everything was fine, and when it got to the point that he wanted to collar Kimmie, he simply released the other girl, and told Kimmie it was for completely unrelated reasons.

This friend felt betrayed, but she, as well as other friends were told they were not to discuss the situation that happened.  This was a direct order from each of their Masters… and because they are good submissives and slaves, and amazing women… they obeyed.

Sometimes I wish they hadn’t… because what happened next was horrible.

Because a tiger doesn’t change its stripes, it wasn’t long before this boy began doing to Kimmie with another woman what he’d originally done to another woman with Kimmie.  Only this other woman was far more vindictive.  To end his relationship with her, however… he didn’t just release her in SL.  Oh no.  What he did was far worse.  He went to see her in RL… spent a day or two with her… used her physically, sexually, emotionally, etc etc over the course of those few days… and then stopped speaking to her.  Abandoned her.  Wouldn’t answer calls, texts, etc etc.  And finally when he did answer, I assume it was only to release her, because she did end up out of his collar.  I’m not sure if she just gave up and took it off or if he finally answered… but either way, he was a complete dick.  (I’ve been corrected… in a blunt way… He fucked her, and he left.  The only message she got was, “There’s problems with my computer.”  She asked if she still had to write in her journal, He said, “Yes,” and those were the last words she ever heard from him.  And Kimmie BEGGED him to talk to her.)

But it didn’t stop there.

This other woman harassed Kimmie.  And every time she would mute her, the woman would make an alt just to harass her again.  Every time Kimmie logged in, she would be harassed.  It was constant.  And she couldn’t take it.  She started spending less time in SL and more time in WoW with Rya… just trying to get past it.  Though the worst part of the harassment was that this woman was leading Kimmie (and subsequently Rya and I) to believe that it had been the group of former friends who had been ordered to not speak about it.  (We didn’t know about such order until after Kimmie died and we reached out to them to talk about it.)

Between the RL stress, having been physically sexually and emotionally used by her Daddy and then abandoned, and the constant harassment that she was receiving, Kimmie decided to leave SL… and then less than a week later, over-dose on Hydrocodone.  As much as Rya and I feel that we are both observant people who are very in-tune with the emotions of others… neither of us saw it coming until after it happened.  We just knew, when we hadn’t heard from Kimmie in a few days… in the back of our minds, we just knew.

And that was exactly what Kimmie had told us.  If someone was truly that hell-bent on committing suicide, you’d never know it.  And we never did.  At least, not until it was too late.

To this day, I still feel like there was more I could’ve done to help her.  I feel like if I’d reached out to her more… or one more time… maybe that could’ve made the difference.  Rya says the same thing… that she feels like she wasn’t there for Kimmie like she should’ve been.  I struggle with this feeling that I could’ve done more… every day… EVERY DAMN DAY I struggle with feeling this way.

I struggle with blaming myself.  As does Rya.

(And yes, I’ve read this post to Rya before actually posting it… so she’s fully aware that I’m commenting on her feelings and essentially speaking for her right now.)

So I guess in a way, in a really sick, twisted, fucked up way… Shell is right about one thing.  Part of me blames myself for Kimmie’s death.  I feel like I’m partially responsible.  For having not been there enough… or at the right moment.  Maybe if I would’ve reached out to her that evening or that afternoon… maybe just a random hello that would’ve let her know someone was thinking about her… someone cared in that moment… maybe that small act could’ve made the difference.  Or made the difference long enough for her to call or text Rya about the struggle she was having with wanting to OD again.  I don’t know… I just always feel like there was more I could’ve done.

So do I feel responsible for Kimime’s death?  Partially.

But have I ever knowingly, consciously bullied another human being to the point that they’ve killed themselves?  NEVER.  Have I ever knowingly, consciously bullied another human being at all?  NEVER.  Not once.  Never have I even THOUGHT about bullying or harassing someone like that.  Have I come across negatively to people and been viewed as a bully?  Yes.  And when I stepped back and took a look at the situation, I have apologized every time.  Because that is NOT the image I want to have… that is NOT the behavior that I want to exhibit.  That is NOT the legacy that I want to leave in someone’s life.

I refuse to be the last straw for someone.  I REFUSE.

So for Shell to say that “we” (Rya, Flame, Sarah, the Passionate Heart, all of us, whomever she means each time she says it) are the reason people kill themselves…. or even so far as to say that we were ‘probably’ the reason that Kimmie killed herself… I just have this to say…

How. Fucking. Dare. You.

You have no fucking idea what we went through with Kimmie… and what we continue to go through every day without her.

You have no fucking idea.

How fucking dare you.

And I truly hope that Karma finds you out and ruins you in the worst way.  You will get what’s coming to you some day.  And that’s not a threat… because it won’t come from myself, it won’t come from my Master, it won’t come from Rya or Lady Fate, it won’t come from any of the teachers or students (past, present, or future) of the Passionate Heart…. it will come directly from Karma, and from Mother Nature.

And when the time comes to pay for your sins, your wicked heart, and the midnight black-hole that is where your soul should be… I hope to all that is good that you try to run.  Because only then will you fully understand the consequences of your actions.

And Karma is the only thing from which you truly can’t escape.  Well that, and death… but I highly doubt Karma will kill you.  That would be too easy.

Confession #14: Enough is Enough

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“Lesser the ego, more the knowledge; more the ego, lesser the knowledge…” — Albert Einstein

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Well, hi there!  It’s been awhile, hasn’t it… almost a year since the last large instance of idiocy in the SL dance community occurred that made me want to speak out.  And you know, I thought things were getting better.  For awhile, they were.   There was an unfortunate incident with a competition judging situation where the 2nd place girl was (seemingly) purposely announced as last, and the competition organizer refused to hand over cards to the judges so they could double check when they asked for them… however, that seems to have blown over.  A review board has been called for and talked about by a few of the more esteemed judges in the dance community, like Sir Ramius.  More information on that as it comes, I’m sure.

Anyway, to the real point of this post.  Who’s done fucked up this time?  I’m glad you asked, imaginary other half of this conversation!

Shellirene Resident.  (Dun dun duuuuuuuun.)  Some of you know the drama she has caused out in the general Gorean community in roleplay situations, getting herself cast out of various sims, including one that she owned (don’t ask; I have NO idea how that worked)… however, none of that is what this post is about.  This is about the drama that she caused in Rya Inglewood’s dance class, The Passionate Heart of Dance.  Mhmms.  More unfortunate instances of students taking advantage of a kind woman who just wants to make a difference in the world of dance with her teachings.  This one’s a feisty one, though.  She actually has the nerve to make students and teachers alike miserable, get herself thrown out of the classes, and then try to drag Rya’s name through the mud like it was somehow all HER fault that Shell is an egotistical little brat.  (Yeah, I’m not sure how that adds up either.)

After getting herself thrown out of the Passionate Heart of Dance Academy 3 weeks before graduation, she decided to write a rather slanderous blog post.  This post, as well as the instances surrounding her class experience and subsequent ejection from the course without being allowed to graduate, will be the main focuses of this blog.

** Warning: If you don’t want to hear about the drama that this girl has caused, please stop reading now.  This will be addressing her concerns as well as the events surrounding what has happened… point by point, line by line, item by item.  If you don’t want to read it, don’t continue reading.  If you continue reading, that is YOUR choice, and you should not address the fact that this post is “all about drama” in a comment.  Such comments will sit unapproved.  You have been warned. (In other words… “ain’t nobody got time for that.”) **

Let’s start at the beginning… I think.  I dunno… most of her blog post was written in one paragraph consisting of very few sentences.  The period key on her keyboard must be broken or something, as well as the comma and the shift key.  Caps lock sure seems to work though.  So I’m just going to start at the beginning of her post and make a grand attempt to provide “Shell to English” translation for those of us who actually understand the words “grammar” and “punctuation”.

Starting with the first sentence… or the first sentence fragment… ya know, hell, let’s just start with the first couple words…

And Flame you lieing cunt

Well clearly we are made aware with this excellent introduction that she is going to be approaching the situation like an adult from a purely factual standpoint.  She is obviously going to use facts and chat logs, etc to support her accounts of what has happened, and in the end she may actually make us question the validity of her removal from the course without being allowed to graduate.  In fact, we can obviously tell that the quality of this blog post may actually prove that she’s learned something, and may even make us reconsider our stance about her performing at graduation.

Or… she’s just going to throw a fit like a three year old.

Anyway, right… the first part of the blog post is directed at Flame (ScarletFleur Resident).

And Flame you lieing cunt, yeah you read out a chat log we had but you read the wrong one out so you saying what you did was not said in that note card because you said it in a totally different one, you bitch. and since when is a persons past 3 sims she rped on got to do with a dam dancing academy? ill tell you NOTHING you only added that in to make me look bad. and how dare you go tell a free person that YOU recon I can not listen, I can not do as im told, I can not learn, then how is it bitch that I have all these certifacats to prove YOU bloody wrong huh. lets see oh yes this is comeing from a person that thinks she is soooo great a slave you sit in the slavers office and for 2 hours yes I timed it, 2 hours flame you sat there telling the slaver how dare he put out chore bords for the slaves, and that YOU were not going to do a chore nor were you going to note card it, as you are aove doing that and so are the rest of the slaves and how dare he put them out expecting the slaves to do them and if any thing he is causeing people as in slaves to leave not stay because they will take one look at his chore bords and say im not staying here if I have to do chores. and you ript into him on this issue for two dam hours. the poor guy ended up taking them down cos of YOU. and you call yourself a slave. and slave knows you do not talk to a free like that let alone a slaver. but you do. cos your so right and up your own ass hole.

Oh my lord, the red squiggling lines in my WordPress just went nuts.  Though there are no squiggling lines in the last 2 lines on my screen, so perhaps she spelled everything right… or, my spellchecker decided fuck it… it’s time to drink some vodka and wait to die.

Anyway, she brings up a chat log that Flame read the wrong one of, supposedly.  She also typed that out in chat during class on Monday when Flame was reading it aloud.  However, to that point, all I can really say is that, noting Shell’s concern, Flame did go back and produce the other chat log that Shell seemed to think would incriminate Flame.  You can find both chat logs in Flame’s response to Shell’s blog, posted here.  But of course, because Flame couldn’t read Shell’s mind when Shell was in MY IM (more on that later) making the wild accusation that Flame called her dances lousy, Flame is apparently a “cunt” and a “bitch”.  Mhmm.  Makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?  -.-

Next, she asks since when does a person’s last 3 sims they roleplayed in have anything to do with a dance academy.  At first, I have to agree with her… that it has nothing to do with it.  Rather, it SHOULD have nothing to do with it.  However, this is another instance in which Shell made it relevant to the dance class by walking through that door and refusing to leave her past issues outside the class.  Dani (you’ll hear more about her later) used to roleplay with Shell in the city of Ti.  Dani is a beginner in Rya’s class, Shell was in the Advanced class.  Shell made two specific digs at Dani that made absolutely no sense: the first, was saying that Dani’s outfit she was thinking about using for her graduation dance made her look like a coin slut.  (Yes, it was the coin silks from Shack… but her overall presentation was hardly coin slut material… and Shell knew this… she was just trying to insult Dani.)   The other dig was Shell bringing up something that Dani had supposedly said in roleplay, about Shell being only fit to clean the shit off a statue.  You know what, I wasn’t there, so I can’t say one thing or the other about that… but the one thing I know is this: Who… the fuck… cares?  Does cleaning shit off a statue have anything to do with dance class?  Not unless you’re doing a dance about it.  So why would Shell bring that up in the middle of a class?  Because she’s an attention-seeking drama whore who will do anything for the attention she craves, even if it’s tearing down another student and wasting class time.  So, by taking things that have nothing to do with dance class and using them to fuel her emotional, drama-filled tirades during classes, she made things “outside” this dance academy become relevant.  Yet another thing that she herself has caused, yet blames other people for or claims to not understand them.  Oh, and the part about “you only added that in to make me look bad.”  Hunny, wake up… you’ve done a good enough job all on your own of making yourself look bad.

I’m already exhausted, aren’t you?  But we’re just barely skimming the surface, unfortunately.

Next, Shell states that Flame has gone to Free and told them that she cannot listen, cannot learn, cannot do as she’s told, etc etc.  Unfortunately, Flame is sleeping as I’m writing this, so I can’t address this with her… because I, once again, have NO idea where this accusation came from.  I suspect that perhaps it’s something that happened while they were roleplaying together in the City of Ti, but I cannot be for certain without speaking to Flame about it.  If it becomes important enough to make an amendment to this blog entry after addressing this accusation with Flame, I’ll update it and write the explanation at the bottom of this entry.

Next, her certificates.  LORD, how many times we got to hear about these certificates?  We heard about them in class, we heard about them outside of class, we hear about them in arguments, and now we hear about them in this blog post.  Allow me to state this perfectly clear, once and for all: Certificates. Mean. Nothing.  Coming from a model with certificates from various academies making me a “certified” model, I’m going to tell you, again, certificates. mean. nothing.  What a certificate says is that you can successfully regurgitate the information that a particular person gave you about a particular subject matter.  It doesn’t make you an expert in that subject matter because 9 times out of 10, you didn’t do your own research on the topic.  You took what that person said to you about it, you took notes on it, you studied those notes, passed the test their way, and then they presented you with a certificate.  For example, when I first started modeling and went to my first school, my first teachers told me that when I’m stopping on a runway and need to turn and face the audience, I stop, and then use my arrow key to turn in that direction to face that portion of the audience.  I graduated that academy by performing how they expected me to, and I received a certificate.  Another school that I attended later said that when I am wanting to turn on a runway to face the audience, I stop, turn my camera to face that portion of the audience, and then I tap either my left or right arrow keys to make my avatar turn entirely to that side in one motion (instead of slowly turning that direction using only the arrow keys.)  I passed my tests and performed the way they wanted me to perform, and received a certificate in that school too.  Those certificates only mean that I can perform “basic modeling skills” in the way that THAT particular school wants me to perform them.  If having a certificate made me an ‘expert’ in all things modeling, then I wouldn’t have learned anything new at that second school.  However, that’s clearly not the case, because I learned a second way to turn.  Do you see what I mean?  Certificates. Mean. Nothing.  In the grand scheme of things, that is.

I also like what Flame had to say on the subject of certificates.  Do certificates make me a good roleplayer, a good model, or a good person?  Not at all.  My writing style and knowledge of the subject I’m roleplaying will determine whether or not I’m a good roleplayer.  My ability to EXECUTE modeling skills will determine whether or not I’m a good model.  And WHO I AM will determine whether or not I’m a good person.  Again, say it with me, Certificates. Mean. Nothing.

Oh, but apparently Flame’s a bitch… again.

Next, we have a completely random diatribe about a Slaver in the City of Ti that Flame apparently talked to for 2 hours about the concept of chore boards.  Shell accuses Flame of thinking that she’s ‘above’ doing chores, and that she is telling a Free Person what to do.  I’ll first point out that Shell makes a comment about how, yes, she did time the conversation.  That’s a bit… stalker-ish.  Like, seriously, do you have nothing else better to do than sit there and time how long Flame is roleplaying with someone (because as we heard on Flame’s blog, she was having an in character conversation in local, as well as an out of character conversation in IMs with the Slaver)?  Really?  That, right there, should be the first red flag.  Shell loves to play the victim… it’s never her fault that she gets removed from sims or classes or collars or friend’s lists or what have you… she’s always the persecuted one.  She’s always quick to play the victim, the one being wronged.  However, if she was truly innocent in all this, why wouldn’t she be off engaging in her own roleplay?  Why is she, instead, sitting around, timing a roleplay that Flame is having with someone, so that she can do what with that time exactly?  Bring it up now, months and months and months later in a pathetic attempt to grasp at straws as to why she’s so much better than Flame is?  (While simultaneously accusing Flame of thinking she’s better than everyone else, I might add.)  There’s nothing else I can really say to this other than… what in the hell does this have to do with anything?  Not a damn thing.

To stray from facts for just a moment and toss in my own personal opinion… Shell is the last person to make herself out like an exemplary example of slavehood.  To look at Flame and Shell in comparison with each other… Flame is a much better slave.  Better trained, better behaved.  Flame actually read the books and conducts herself accordingly and is able to say that she is in a healthy relationship with a Master that fulfills her slavery and makes her happy… and that she makes Him proud.  Shell, on the other hand, clings to her “certificates” that don’t actually prove she read a damn thing and conducts herself like a spoiled child who doesn’t get a toy or candy when she goes shopping with her parents… and has barely been able to hold onto a collar for longer than it takes for her to go through her menstrual cycle… and just for the record, any collar she manages to be in, she seems to drive the poor man crazy.  (More on that in a moment, since my Master had a conversation with Shell’s during her last class.)

Alright… anyway… we’ve FINALLY made it through Shell’s first bit about Flame.  We can move on now.

as for Tivi I notised you left out half of what YOU told me in that note card you only put in what you wanted them to know to make me look bad and you look like the little princess cunt you are.

Hey, lookie there, I get to talk about myself for a short moment!  Lol.  She noticed that I left out half of what I told her in our conversation?  Unfortunately for the class members who had to sit through my extensive comment, no, I didn’t leave anything out except the very end (after her Master interrupted me and demanded I be quiet, as if He had any right to command me with my own Master present, I got a little distracted and just finished without reading the rest of the conversation)… I read every comment, word for word, that both Shell and I stated.  Of course, because Shell wants to play the victim, she wants to believe that the things I said were worse than they actually were, and that they were uncalled for, rather than responses to what she was saying.  She claims I left things out because she didn’t like that the conversation made her look like a bitch who wasted two hours of my time.

Oh, and apparently I’m a little princess cunt.  To that, I just have to say the following:  hahahahahahahahahaha.  PLEASE, simple bitch… I KNOW I’m a cunt… LOL.  And if you look back in my past blog entries of mine where I address other controversial issues, you’ll see where other “slaves” in the Gorean community have no problems telling me how much of a “princess” I am for having my own brain, my own voice, and possessing opinions that are different than theirs, while not being afraid to express those opinions in the open forum that is MY OWN PERSONAL BLOG.  So you’re not telling me anything I haven’t already heard before.  And, unfortunately for you, it doesn’t hurt me.  Nice try, though.  Valiant effort.  Broaden your vocabulary a bit and maybe you’ll be able to insult me.

Alright.  Done with her bit about me.  Next.

and Rya you run a school of dance do you. your hardly there and when you are on your hanging out with tivi and flame and sarah, you never get on to post group notices you let tivi do that. weres the respect there Rya? you say you wont let us fail. yet you passed me then decided to fail me not on my dancing, but because I in your eyes could not let go of the past. which I might add has NOTHING to do with my dance abilty. and what makes it worse is you allowed me to sit there for just over two hours while your so called bum buddies of girls Tivi, and Flame all put the knife in and then you tell me I wont graduate.

Ok.  When Rya’s online she’s hanging out with me and Flame and Sarah?  She’s also building… and shopping for things to build… and writing her own dances (occasionally)… and meeting with students that have ASKED for her help… and attending discussions when she feels like it… and hanging out with her other friends… or hanging out with her SL daughter… or a myriad of other things.  However, and I seem to be asking this question a lot when it comes to stuff Shell says, what in the fuck does that have to do with the price of tea in China?  So what if she spends her time with her friends?  So what?  Dance classes were on Mondays and Tuesdays at 7pm SLT.  What she does outside of that time is none of your damn business, and none of your concern.  Why does it bother you so much?  Because she wasn’t helping you?  You have to ASK for help to get it, and as we’ve all pointed out several times, you didn’t ask.  You asked once while Rya was bed-ridden sick, and she tried to come in to help you, but was just too sick, and sent you an apology.  You never bothered to reschedule a meeting with her after she felt better, so we could only assume that your issues were worked out.  You never asked for additional help.  Or were you upset because she was hanging out with us, and not with you?  You have to make yourself someone that people want to be around before people will want to hang out with you.  I’m sorry, but we weren’t about to make extra effort to hang out with you and act all buddy buddy when you made our class time miserable.  I’d prefer as much non-miserable free time as I can get my hands on, thank you very much.

Rya never gets on to post group notices?  You know what, that’s actually my fault, and I’ll own that.  When Rya would be in Skype with me… sounding miserable… in so much pain… in near tears… when she would go afk to go to the bathroom and get water and all I could hear is groaning… and crying… and “ow, ow, ow” with EVERY SINGLE STEP she took… when I would hear all these things, my heart would break for Rya.  And so when she would be in Skype with me and say, “I think I’m going to come online and send a notice to cancel class tonight,” I would tell her, “No, you go lay down.  I’ll send it.”  Of course, she wouldn’t lay down until the notice had been successfully sent, because she didn’t want any of the students to be upset with her for being a no-show… so I would type the message, read it back to her, change it as she saw fit, and send it when she was happy with it.  Then I would make her take her happy ass to bed and get some rest.  THAT is the reality of the situation.  THAT is why Rya didn’t come on to send group notices.  You want someone to blame for that?  Blame me.  Blame me for having her best interest in mind and trying to help.  You want someone to assign blame to so bad, then god damn, blame me and shut the fuck up about it.

Where’s the respect?  She was respecting my wishes to see her rest and get better.  Since when is that a bad thing?  Anyway, next point…

Rya makes three promises in the Beginner’s class.  1.) Rya will be there for them.  2.) Rya will not let them fail.  3.) Rya will not let them make a fool of themselves.  Now, perhaps these are lofty promises to make, because Rya cannot control the actions of her students.  She can only control her teachings, her lessons, her assignments, etc etc.  If a student refuses to meet her halfway, then perhaps they can fail or make a fool of themselves.  But if they do, it will not be Rya’s fault.  Because Rya will have done everything in her power to be sure it doesn’t happen.  THAT is what she means by those promises.  But just in case that’s not enough of an explanation, allow me to address what each of those promises means:

1.) Rya will be there for them.
Shell would probably claim that Rya broke this promise because of so many cancelled classes due to her illness, and then the fact that Shell claims Rya never helped her when she was struggling, yet she helped other students (she frequently uses her former friend Reine as an example here).  However, what Rya means by this promise is that she is approachable… she will always be there for a student to talk to.  She will always listen.  She will always do everything in her power to make something better, if she can.  And, what’s more, is she won’t just up and leave SL in the middle of a class and say, “Fuck you guys, you’re on your own.”  She will see each semester through to its completion.  That is why Rya finished this class in the first place.  She could’ve given up when she got sick.  She could’ve given up when Shell made our lives miserable.  She could’ve let one horrible student ruin the classroom experience for the rest who were there to learn and were NOT causing problems.  However, she didn’t.  She stuck it out.  And she tried her damnedest.  In the end, she had to remove the problem.  And even in removing the poison that is Shell, she STILL didn’t give up on the rest of the students.  Rya was there for them.  Promise kept.

2.) Rya will not let them fail.
Shell would probably claim that Rya broke this promise (and she has already openly accused her of doing so) because of the fact that Shell has now failed the class and will not be graduating.  However… this is not what Rya meant by fail.  Fail, in and of itself, is a relative term.  Just because someone doesn’t like a dance, doesn’t mean you’ve “failed”.  Rya strives to teach her students to be happy with their dances, first and foremost.  It’s a controversial topic in Gorean Dance… whether the dancer needs to dance to please herself first and other people second… or whether she dances to please her Master first and others/herself second.  Rya is of the first opinion… the dancer needs to be pleased with the dance she’s done, otherwise, it’s going to turn into the same old, same old, run-of-the-mill, “I’m just going to spit quotes at you and not actually show you any real emotion” type dances that we all see and fall asleep too regularly.  This is what Rya means by not letting the girls fail.  If they can be pleased with their dances, and if they dance from their hearts, then they could never “fail”.  This is completely separate from an actual graded class.  Sorry, but a teacher cannot promise you that you will do amazing work that deserves an “A” and will not fail her class.  You earn the grade your work deserves, and she can’t dictate that for you until you present your work.  So, just because Shell produced work and an attitude (because Classroom Attitude IS a subject matter that is graded) that was worthy of an F in Rya’s class, does not mean that Rya broke her promise.  She taught her students to be pleased in their dances, and Shell cannot claim that she didn’t… because if you ask Shell, her dances are the most amazing thing since sliced bread, and she has no idea why anyone would find anything negative to say about any of them.  Promise kept.

3.) Rya will not let them make a fool of themselves.
In my opinion, Shell could never claim that Rya broke this promise, because in order to do so, she would have to call herself a fool.  And as full of herself as Shell is, I have a hard time believing that she would ever say that she is or looks like a fool.  Nevertheless, what Rya means with this promise is that, for example, if someone who has been working hard in the classes, putting in 110%, isn’t going to be ready by the time graduation happens… say they’ve had a hard time in RL and have been heavily distracted or haven’t been around… or their computer crashed and they lost all their work, etc etc.  Rya isn’t going to say, “Well tough titties, I hope you’re ready by graduation,” and make them go out in the sands and make a fool of themselves.  One such example is a former student who had some very serious medical issues right before her advanced class graduation.  That particular advanced class was required to perform two dances in order to pass.  This student only had one of them completely ready to go.  She went to Rya, explained the situation, and she was allowed to perform the one dance she had done, without having the added pressure of trying to finish a second one before her graduation.  Did that student perform 2 dances at her graduation?  No.  Did that student still graduate?  Yes.  Rya was not about to make her try to do a second dance that was even partially unprepared.  Promise kept.

Anyway, next…

Shell asserts multiple times in her blog post, the first of which is seen in this paragraph about Rya, that we could not fail her on her dancing ability… only on her inability to let go of the past.  (She clings to this straw because that is what Rya said to her when she told her she wouldn’t be graduating.  That unfortunately, Shell couldn’t let go of the past and it was causing problems, so Rya was not going to let her graduate.  I have a feeling what Rya would’ve said, if she had felt free to say absolutely anything and everything she wanted to without any negative repercussions, she would’ve same something along the lines of, “Due to you being such a damn drama queen that can’t allow a single class to go by without making some sort of irrelevant comment to start drama with someone, and due to your lack of ability to construct a simple dance without trying to change everything about the assignment to suit you, get out of my class.”)  If you’ve seen Flame’s blog post that I linked above, then you’ll also know that the only reason Shell was going to graduate was because she made a complete 180 with her Masters Choice dances that pulled her grade up to the C she needed to graduate.  In case you’re wondering…. this is entirely true.  I just did the math myself, with Rya in Skype, to confirm that she agreed with my assessment.  I’m not going to post Shell’s letter grades in the different areas… but I’m going to describe the situation in general so that you have a better understanding, as a reader who doesn’t have her ‘report card’ in front of you.

Rya BEGINS by grading her students in 8 different areas (yes, I did say BEGINS, Shell… there are more grades involved that you didn’t know about…).  These areas are: 1.) Class Attendance, 2.) Classroom Behavior, 3.) Classroom Assignments, 4.) 1st Teacher’s Choice, 5.) 2nd Teacher’s Choice, 6.) 1st Masters Choice, 7.) 2nd Masters Choice, 8.) 3rd Masters Choice.

1.) Class Attendance
Do you show up?  Shell did not have perfect attendance, so of course some points were taken down… especially for one particular class that she missed that she had not informed anyone she wasn’t going to be there.  She claimed she was called into work and works on foot and was 8 miles away, so she couldn’t just run back to the PC and send a message.  I totally understand that.  However, we didn’t know where she was, so she was called out in a group notice and asked to write an apology for her absence without communication.  Now, if the above situation had been true, getting called into work, etc etc, then all she had to do was go to Rya and say, “So I don’t appreciate getting called out in a group notice.  This is what happened…”  If she had done that, the apology assignment would’ve been revoked.  But she didn’t.  Instead, she wrote a childish, passive-aggressive apology that completely disrespected Rya and all the other students of the class.  This was also factored into Shell’s “Class Attendance” grade.

2.) Classroom Behavior
It’s safe to say Shell failed this category, and she knows she failed this category, and should have no issue with me expressing that she failed this category, because anyone who knows how Shell conducted herself throughout the Beginners’ and Advanced class both, knows that she would’ve failed this category.  Her behavior and her attitude sucked.  Between attacking fellow students, disrespecting Rya and the associate teachers, and her general snarkiness… along with instances like, “Boohoo, they didn’t clap for me…” (I’ll address that a little later)… she clearly earned herself a solid “F” for Behavior.

3.) Classroom Assignments
This is an easy category to get a good grade in, as this does not assess the QUALITY of your classroom assignments.  The girls are still learning, and the homework assignments cause them to think outside their normal boxes.  It’s hard work, and it makes them stretch.  We’re not going to look at them TRYING to think outside their box and say, “It’s not good enough, so you get a D.”  This grade simply assesses whether or not all their homework assignments were turned in.  Shell’s were.  So needless to say, she did get a good grade in this category.

4.) 1st Teacher’s Choice
What a “Teacher’s Choice” dance assignment is… is just what it says… the Teacher chooses the subject matter and assigns it to the dancer.  This is usually based on something that the Teacher sees in the student and wants to bring it out.  Why do I say “the Teacher” this time instead of “Rya”?  Because for this go-around, this particular Teacher’s Choice was chosen by Flame and I.  I came up with the concepts they were to dance to, and Flame assigned the props.  It wasn’t originally going to be this way.  Rya had some ideas in her head, but she wanted input from Flame and myself… and so when we started giving her ideas, we were apparently making very very similar suggestions, even without having consulted each other.  I liked Flame’s prop suggestions better, and Flame liked my concept suggestions better, so that was how it happened.  We combined Flame’s props with my concepts and assigned them to the students.  Shell received a lower grade than she probably wanted because in our opinion she completely missed the point of the dance she was assigned.

5.) 2nd Teacher’s Choice
Rya sometimes will and sometimes won’t give a 2nd Teacher’s Choice dance.  This time, she did, to pull them all out of their comfort zones.  They rely way too heavily on their words sometimes, and so Rya assigned them Wordless dances, to modern music.  To level the playing field, she chose the same Musical Artist for ALL the assigned songs, and so she assigned all the Advanced Students a Wordless dance to a Nickelback song.

6-8.) Masters Choice Dances
How many Masters choice dances that are assigned vary from class to class.  It just depends on how many Masters are present for the class and paying attention to the girls, and how many wish to participate in this particular assignment.  For this go around, we had 2 Masters and a Mistress around that wanted to give assignments to the girls.  This meant each girl received 3 Masters Choice dances.  And they were all assigned and due at the same time.  This would not only test the girls’ ability to produce what the Masters/Mistress were looking for out of them… it would test their ability to manage their time in order to get the three complete dances done on time.  One particular student didn’t have the time management skills and didn’t feel she had the spare time to get these three assignments done in the 3 weeks they had, so she actually dropped the class.  Rya wished her well and we all hope that her RL and SL are doing well.  The girls that came through with their Masters/Mistress choices performed all three dances in the same class IN FRONT OF the Masters and Mistress that assigned them.  Each Master and the Mistress were asked, when the dance was done, if they felt the girl had performed what they were looking for.  However, when it came to actual letter grades, those were assigned by Rya, Flame, and myself (and we noted this for the girls so that they knew WE graded them, not the Masters and Mistress).  The grades that Shell received on her first 2 dances, are what made her pass and move on to the graduation preparation.

However, you’ll note that I said Rya BEGINS by grading her students in 8 categories.  What the students don’t know… until now… is that when the group dance preparations are being made, Rya (and Rya alone) grades them on an additional 5 categories in regards to the group dance.  Each category is worth a single point… you either did it or you didn’t.  Pass/Fail.  Because the categories SHOULD be easy to pass.  1.) Following Directions, 2.) Camaraderie, 3.) Staying on Task, 4.) General Participation, 5.) Working “For the Good of the Group”.

1.) Following Directions
Because this was a group dance, there were costumes to get, poses to get, etc.  Flame actually decided she wasn’t the biggest fan of the skirts, and so she herself went out and bought textures to fix the skirts in a way that would make them “personal” to all of us but also uniform and unique to the Passionate Heart of Dance.  Before someone asks, no, students were not required to purchase the costume with their own lindens.  I was away during that particular class (I will address why later), but what I am told by SEVERAL sources, including Flame and Rya themselves… is that Rya told the girls, “This is the costume we’re using.  If you do not have the lindens, let me know and I will send you the money to get it.”  Also noteworthy is that Shell took advantage of this offering and said, yes, that she needed the lindens for the costume.  Rya paid her the lindens, no questions asked.  Then the girls spent an entire class period editing their skirts with the textures Flame had gone out to buy.  All the girls had to do was choose a particular color out of the ones that Flame showed them, and Flame passed it to them, free of charge, to put on their skirt panels.  While the girls were doing this, Shell was sitting down, not doing anything.  When she was asked, “Shell, did you get the costume?” she replied with, “No, I’ll do it later while I’m on my sim.”  The rest of the group dance process continued much in the same manner.  Shell simply couldn’t follow directions.  Any guesses on whether she passed or failed?

2.) Camaraderie
For those who may not know what this means… allow me to help.  This generally refers to bonding with a group of people that you’re in.  Working together pleasantly, working with each other, helping each other, being nice to each other, being pleasant to each other.  Shell constantly singled herself out through instances like the one given as an example in the point above.  She also asked for several changes to be made to the graduation to suit her… the date… the time… but the one that got me the most was the costume for the group dance.  Somewhere towards the end of the class (yes, this was a recent change, not one that we had known about the entire time… because it hadn’t always been this way…) Shell acquired an all-mesh avatar.  As such, regular clothing layers don’t show up… clothing has to be mesh to sit on top of the mesh body parts.  The costume that we chose was not mesh.  Instead of being logical like, “Oh, this is clothing layers.   I should probably go back to my old avatar so I can wear this,” no… Shell couldn’t do that.  She comes to Rya and basically tells her that some of the costume pieces don’t fit her mesh avatar and that something will have to be done about it if Shell couldn’t make them fit.  Shell has her old avatar… and eventually between Rya and Flame, they got her to use it.  But with all the headaches that caused, any guesses on whether she passed or failed?

3.) Staying on Task
Remember that time when Shell became a part of a group dance and did as she was asked when she was asked, made sure she was working with the other girls and everything went smoothly?  Oh wait…

4.) General Participation
You know… there’s a difference between being present, and actually participating.  Sure, Shell was there at all the practices for the group dance, but at this point she was so caught up in playing the victim of being persecuted by Rya, the associate teachers, her fellow students.  She’d alienated herself completely from pretty much everyone in the class except for Reine.  So she spent most of her time in those rehearsals sitting quietly (for the first time since Beginners!  Holy shit!) and not really offering much participation at all.  In fact, Rya began “punishing” the students for not speaking up during a particular class, by having them do impromptu dancing to music of my choice.  (Shell couldn’t quite do that well either… she was given a song with several changing beats.. to make her lighten up and just have fun with it, exploring her different animations… since, remember, according to her ranting she has TONS of them that she was “made” to buy for class… but instead she just stuck with a few that didn’t match the song at all.)  Any guesses on whether she passed or failed?

5.) Working “For the Good of the Group”
Shell couldn’t work for the good of the group even if it would save her life.   Shell is a narcissist of the worst kind… and anything and everything she does is ultimately self-centric.  Group dances force you to look outside of what may be best for YOU and look at what’s best for the GROUP.  However, given Shell’s multiple demands regarding graduation… the time… the date… the costume… the prim allowance (which was set by the sim and NOT by us)… it is very clear that Shell wasn’t in it for the good of the group.  Any guesses on whether she passed or failed?

That said… given the 0 points that she received out of 5 for the group dance… after re-calculating her grades for the course… Shell now has a D for the course.  Now, a D is not an F.  (Gee, thanks, Captain Obvious.)  However, like most courses in RL… just because you don’t get an F doesn’t mean you pass.  Most classes in the REAL world, you have to pass the class with a C in order to receive credit, including passing the “Final Exam”.  Which, guess what… the Final Exam is graduation.  How does that work?  Let me provide you with another example from the modeling world…

There is one particular modeling school that is hailed as being much more complicated to pass than the rest.  I’ve never been through the final class yet, so I can’t confirm nor deny this, but I can say as an outsider looking in, it definitely LOOKS like it’s harder to pass.  *Chuckles*  You have your regular classes that you attend: 101, 102, 103, and 104.  Each of those classes is a one-day thing, a few hours for that day… however long it takes to get through the material, really.  You’ve got a set start time, but there’s really not an end time.  Again, however long it takes.  Then, the final class.  105.  (Dun dun duuuuuuun.)

105 is a weekend-long class.  It begins on a Friday evening, and then there is a Saturday class, and finally a ‘graduation’ show on Sunday.  You are assessed throughout the entire weekend… your styling on Friday, your styling and changes made to you on Saturday… and then your ability to style to the themes you’re given for the graduation show.  However, walking in that graduation show does NOT mean that you graduated. After the show, the teachers from that academy that are present talk about each student and decide whether or not they passed.  You see, the “graduation” show is not a celebration of your graduation… it is, in fact, your final exam.  The list of graduates is released afterwards, and oftentimes… if not every time… at least one student has not graduated and will need to attempt 105 again the next time it’s offered (usually every other month).

This is a lot of what Rya does with her graduation, except she’s not as hard on her students as this academy is.  Your graduation performance is your final exam.  So, to address a point that Shell makes in a subsequent comment on her blog, no, we don’t owe you your certificate, as you got yourself kicked out of the class before you could perform your final exam.  Don’t finish the class, don’t pass the class, don’t get the certificate.  Sorry, doll.

Well, no I’m not.  But that’s a different story…  Next…

you recon Danny don’t look like a coin slut huh. well did you ever know why I was removed from Ti no I bet you don’t so let me share shall I. I was removed because dannys Master took some thing done in rp that I thought was over with and took that as a persanal insult. to such a degree he tok every possible moment to im me with insults, not only of my sl life but my rl, took it from im and pulled it into sl chat. danny herself joined in and told the Ubrs slut I fancied him to the degree his slut wanted me gorn and would chase me all over the dam sim downing me, and when not doing that ejecting me off, then danny tells me im only good for scrubing the shit off a statue foot unlike her. her Master then after an hour of more insults in public screen on both my ic rp life and my rl decided to god mode a rp kill and meter kill, then the pric sim baned me were they all went around telling others what a cunt I am and how im nothing but shit any way.

If you wanna read that, you can.  It’s more pointless bullshit about her roleplay in the City of Ti.  Blah Blah, play the victim… blah blah angry at Dani… blah blah, I can do no wrong.  Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get the fuck over it, please.

Next…

not to mension the fact Rya Danny was going to tell you on her 3rd lesson to shove your school up your ass cos her Master was not allowing her to keep going to it, and she came to me for your name in game so she could tell you this herself. Reine to was wanting it over with its Reine that said YOU begged her to vote me out of the school as she was the only one that was stoping the vote from being an all yes and you needed an all yes to do it. so you just about begged her to say yes. he also complained very heavely on how you and your so called girls were treating not only her but myself. but yet I noticed when confronted with stuff she very quickly back off. and you know why cos SHE wants that certificate she worked hard to get. just like I have done.

Ok.  Let’s address Dani first.  First off, we all knew that not only her Master, but most of the Masters in her city had issues with how Rya teaches dance.  This is because I would hazard a guess that most of them are stuck in the “by the book” box and simply want to see a girl masturbate in the sands.  This was made quite clear when the City of Ti held a dance competition and the girl that won was the girl whose dance had the least substance… well… emotional substance… there was certainly a lot of… fluid… substance… spilling from her petals and her pearl and just… ew.  Yeah.  I kinda wanted to call a Green.  Now, to be fair to the City of Ti, their city was not judging.  However, their Free in attendance were praising that dance much more than any other girl who had danced that night.  So we were all quite aware of how the Free of Ti believe that dance should be done.  And it conflicts directly with what Rya teaches.  So we knew ALL about the issues Dani was getting over the dance she was writing for her graduation.  We tried our best to be as encouraging as possible, but there came a point in time when we just had to say enough.  They were harassing the poor girl about her dance and we finally had to let her know that if it would make her more comfortable, she could pawn their negative asses off on Rya if she needed to.   “Any concerns with MY dance should be directed to my dance teacher, Rya Inglewood.”  In the end, she stuck it out and did so with so much dignity and respect… I admired her greatly for putting up with that much adversity and being here at the end of the day, still standing tall and ready to perform her dance.  So, Shell, you can shove your accusations about Dani.  She is not the problem here.

And about Reine… this is the difference between Shell and Reine.  When Rya opened up the floor during the dance class on April 7th where all this shit went down and came to a head.. and said that she was informed that there was at least one student who would like to tell her to shove her classes and wanted to open up the floor to anyone who wanted to say anything…. Reine stood up.  She owned her words, and she said, “You know, I wasn’t talking about just the classes.  There was a lot going on in SL and in RL at that time, and I was ready to tell EVERYONE to just fuck off.  Not just you, not just class, I was so done with everything.”  Reine owned her words, and she let us into her world, telling us what was going on at that time in her life, in a general sense.  Rya knows more specifics because that is the trusting relationship that they have developed between the two of them.  So, again, Shell, you’re not telling us anything that we didn’t already know.  The only thing you did was try to throw your only friend in that class under the bus.  I take that back… before that class, when you were trying to bring it up to me in my IMs like you had all these people in the class behind you about how they felt about Rya and the class and how “at least” one of them wanted to tell Rya to shove it… you were using a very common scare tactic utilized often in bullying… trying to get others to back down by giving the illusion that you have a large number of people supporting you and your position.

This is ironic, given the fact that you claim in a later comment on your blog that Flame and I are, and I quote “the reason people kill themselves, from the massive bullying”.  I’ll address that lovely statement a bit later.  But those of you that know me, know the hell is coming… because you don’t use the bully word with Tivi.  Them’s fightin’ words.

Next…

your girls don’t teach shit, every time you cancled a class they should of stept in. but no all they did was post a group message. if that’s what you call being a dance teacher your sicker than we thought you are.

One thing that you may not be aware of, Shell, is that the past Advanced students were assigned a topic to teach to the Beginners.  These classes were to take place after the general 6 week classes that Rya gives.  Just like in YOUR Beginners class, I stood up and taught about the difference between the Huddles and The Barre… Sarah talked about opening up in your dances if you’re normally a shy person…. Flame stood up and taught about emotes.  (But wait, we don’t teach shit, right?!)  For this go-round, Miss Anna was asked about teaching HUDs, I was asked to teach about hiding behind perfection in your dances, Flame was still doing emotes, and Sarah stepped away when the drama got bad… however she would have still taught her class on Shyness, had Rya asked.  Why did these classes never happen?  The drama started up and between that and Rya’s sickness, she couldn’t handle the two separate classes, one right after the other, every week.  The classes were combined into the Beginners and Advanced and so the whole class structure had changed.  Just thought I’d let you know that these classes WERE scheduled to happen, they just hadn’t.  But, again, we don’t teach shit.  Nope.  Not at all.

Also, while Rya didn’t feel the need to address this in her response blog because it’s my personal business to tell… I feel confident enough to bring it up.  The last class that was cancelled before the classes were combined… you’ll note that that cancellation notice was sent by Flame, whereas I usually sent them.  Did you bother to wonder why this happened?  When that class got cancelled because Rya was sick still, and then you all were informed classes would be combined starting the next week, I was 12 hours away from my home.  I was back up in Indiana, ass-deep in snow, burying my grandfather.

So you say that every time a class was cancelled, one of us should’ve stepped up to teach it.  First of all… no.  These classes are not ours.  We are ASSOCIATE teachers… not Lead Instructors.  We are also co-owners of the group from a logistical sense.  The classes themselves and all the lessons included in that class, are Rya’s, and Rya’s alone.  I don’t teach, my teacher teaches.  I teach one subject, when asked, and that is about how I used to meticulously time every little detail of my dance and hide behind that perfection so that I didn’t have to show my REAL self in my dance.  THAT is the only thing I teach.  But even if I did have ANY desire to teach anyone, let alone teach a class that had YOU in it… I didn’t step up to teach that particular class because I was burying my grandfather.  I am so sorry that it was so inconvenient to you that I could not sign online from my laptop in a hotel lobby and teach a dance class because I was burying my grandfather.  Next time, I’ll just tell my loved one, “Hold on for just a little bit longer.  You can’t die yet.  I have a dance class that I might have to teach and Shellirene’s schedule is so much more important than your health or your final resting place.”  Fuck you for being so self-centered and insensitive to DARE say we should’ve just stepped in because a cancelled class was inconvenient for you.  Fuck you.  You should be ashamed of yourself.

The other fun portion of this little comment is the last bit… “you’re sicker than we thought you were.”  Who is this ‘we’ shit?  It was made very clear that any time you tried to use that “this is what ‘we’ think” bullshit, other students in the class were completely confused and/or outright stated, “Nope, this isn’t how I feel.”  My personal favourite example of this was, “Well I know you put Dani in charge of the beginners.”  And Dani’s response was, “What?”  Yeah.  Cut the ‘we’ shit.  This is just your desperate attempt as a sad little girl to vie for the attention of other people.  Guess what, it’s working… but certainly not in the way you wanted it to.

and the fact is Rya your only as good as the lands yours able to sneak off on to to hold these courses cos no other gorean sim likes you. they think your a bitch that don’t know how to teach dance for the gorean people. this is why your hidden your school away.

Let’s review the facts of this situation, shall we… first of all, Rya doesn’t teach Gorean dance SPECIFICALLY.  Rya teaches dance.  As such, she tried to keep a healthy mixture of Gorean sims and non-Gorean sims… because Goreans and non-Goreans alike wanted her to teach them how to dance.  She wanted to make sure she had a place where anyone and everyone could feel comfortable.  Any time the classes have moved it’s been for that reason: for the greater good of the classes and the students.  Never because she was “kicked out”.

Rya began her dance classes at Solace of Submission D/s Academy.  Back in January of 2012, Sir LC and Rya had a public collaring ceremony at Sos.  During the reception (which I was not allowed to attend, because I was being punished by my Sir at the time… I was only allowed to attend the collaring because Rya is important to me, but the party was seen as an optional part of the event, so I was told to tp home)… but during the reception, Rya performed her old Whip Dance at Sir LC’s request.  It was to be her present to Him.  After that, Rya was approached about teaching dance at Sos, as there were several people who were instantly interested in learning how to do what Rya had just done.  And so it began… Rya started teaching dance at Sos.  Why isn’t she teaching at Sos anymore?  The classes started and stopped a few times, because of Rya’s RL work schedule, but ultimately, the Sos schedule exploded and expanded so much that the class times that were available did not fit Rya’s weekend schedule anymore.  You can’t have a class where there isn’t a time.  And that was no one’s fault except the people that make Rya’s work schedule.  *Chuckles*  As such, Rya was not kicked out of Sos.  She had to stop teaching there because of schedule conflicts.  This has been confirmed with the Director of Facilitation from Sos’s Board of Directors.

Then, in March of 2012, I hosted my first Fusion dance competition.  Fusion competitions were sort of inspired by the uniqueness of Rya’s dance classes…. As I said, Rya teaches Goreans and non-Goreans alike.  She simply teaches dance.  Her lessons can be applied both inside and outside of Gor.  I wanted a competition where Gorean and non-Goreans could come together around the same central theme and learn from each other.  Also, because non-Gorean dances would be allowed, nothing was stopping Gorean dancers from dancing non-Gorean dances.  A few of the dancers in the Gorean community at the time took full advantage of that opportunity and positively flourished in non-Gorean dance.  Anyway, in March of 2012, I hosted my first Fusion competition at Fallen Angels BDSM Club.  That competition was so well-received, keeping 90+ people consistently on that sim for over 2 hours, that one of Fallen’s Owners at the time and my good friend, Eldric, along with His girl at the time Gemma, approached me, wanting me to teach dance at Fallen.  They felt it would be a unique discussion/class topic.  Well, as we all know, my general response is, “I don’t teach, my teacher teaches.”  Also, because Rya was teaching the same class at Sos, I wanted to at least give her the right of first refusal.  I directed them to Rya.  Because Rya is so passionate about her teaching, she took on Fallen as well.  Why is Rya no longer teaching at Fallen?  First of all, Fallen doesn’t exist any more.  Secondly, Rya left Fallen after Ownership changed and the new Owners didn’t want to continue with the three things that Rya needs for a successful class: 1.) Voice (voice was shut off on the sim if it was “during an event”, and they scheduled an event during her class time), 2.) Students able to attend wearing whatever they’d like, as long as naughty bits were covered (that was the only thing they were still ok with), 3.) Access to the stream (Rya couldn’t have access to the stream because there was a DJ’d event going on during the time of her class now.)  So she voluntarily stepped away.  She was not kicked out of this sim either.

After Rya had to temporarily step away from Sos the first time when she started her job, she began teaching at the Dance Gardens of Gor, originally owned and operated by Kira Swordthain.  This place was truly wonderful and I would have to say it’s the best place that the classes have been held so far, with the exception of where we’re at now.  The sim was beautiful, and Kira was so welcoming.  She allowed Rya to have multiple time slots when she needed them, and even allowed non-Goreans to be in attendance in their Earth clothes.  Her partner at the time (not her current partner) had his own issues with non-Gorean clothing, but she continued to assert that the girls would be welcome no matter what.  Rya had access to the things that she needed: Voice, Gorean and non-Gorean students welcomed, and the stream.  Why is Rya no longer teaching at the Dance Gardens?  It was looking like Kira may close the gardens (before the official announcement was made), and there had been an offer from Tarnsport to have classes on their sim if it was ever needed… and so the classes were moved from the Dance Gardens to Tarnsport.

While Rya was teaching simultaneously at Fallen and the Dance Gardens, I was approached by one of her students about how her city wanted the classes to come there too.  I went to Rya and said, “I have good news for you!”  One of Rya’s ultimate goals when she started teaching was that she wanted to get back into the Gorean sims because, at the time she BEGAN teaching in 2012, the passion in Gorean dance was gone.  Girls were competing only for the prizes… and they were doing nothing but masturbating in the pit.  Girls who tried to do emotional dances, or dances that followed a story more than “in the moment” dancing, were shunned as being “storytellers” and not “real” dancers.  Rya wanted to make a change in Gor, so it was always her goal to get back there.  So when approached with the opportunity to teach a class in the City of Turia, she jumped.  It was wonderful to be there, and it was amazing to see Rya happy.  Towards the tail end of our journey in Turia, a group of people actually tried to ‘raid’ our class… shooting arrows, coming over the wall… etc etc.  None of us were wearing meters, as the class was out of character, since the whole dance pavilion that had been built specifically to hold classes and exhibitions and competitions, was out of character.  The student was in Rya’s IMs, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”  We’re all laughing our asses off at the stupidity of this bunch, trying to raid an OOC class with a bunch of un-metered slaves and students.  Personally, I found it hilarious.  Why isn’t Rya teaching in Turia anymore?  That version of the City of Turia (yes, there have been several installments of “Turia” to pop up in SL) folded.  You can’t teach a class in a city that doesn’t exist.

After Turia was right around the time that Fallen Ownership changed.  So for awhile, Rya was only teaching in the Dance Gardens.

Shortly before that, Rya and I were invited to Tarnsport to do a dance class.  Originally we were under the impression that they wanted Rya’s full dance class, but then a notice dropped about another dance teacher doing a class there during the same week.  It was made known through a clarifying conversation with Sir Ramius who had been organizing the sessions that they wanted several “one-time” classes from different teachers for the girls to get multiple perspectives.  With that in mind, Rya and I went in to Tarnsport and did a small “overview” type class.  This was where the running joke came from that Rya hates it when girls kneel around her… because that was the first thing these girls all did.  They knelt around the dance pit and then when she said, “You can come closer, it’s ok,” they all wandered into the dance pit and knelt in front of her.  The class, overall, we felt, was successful, but it was one-time.  We went in, we did our thing, we left.  The Sim Owner and Admin’s slave was in one of Rya’s classes in the Dance Gardens.  Somewhere in the midst of the Dance Gardens potentially closing, Rya was invited to teach in Tarnsport… not just another one-time class, but her full class.  (Rya and I had had a falling out around that point, and so I was not really present when the invite came to teach at Tarnsport, and was not present during much of her first Beginners class there… when Flame and Sarah and Foxie and Gracie all were beginners.  Rya and I started speaking shortly after that, when I applied to take the NEXT Beginners class because of a year-long writers block I’d had with dance.  So that is why there is a bit of a gap in my recollection of Rya’s teachings, because I was not around.)  Now, during this second installment of the classes at Tarnsport is when problems started to happen.  Remember, Rya needs 3 things to have a successful class, and that’s all she asks for: 1.) Voice, 2.) Goreans and non-Goreans alike to be able to attend, and 3.) Access to the stream.  This time, Rya made an exception to her three simple requests, and reassured the sim owner that she would ask all her students to dress in Gorean attire, to respect the sim, but she asserted that the classes themselves were still Out of Character.  We had students that weren’t Gorean… so of course we couldn’t hold an In Character class with girls who don’t roleplay in Gor… there is no character to be in.  I will admit that there were times I was running late for class, coming from a meeting, rehearsal, or show, and so I would show up initially in Earth clothes, but as soon as I got to class and got settled on a pillow or wherever, I would change.  When I changed clothes, typically into a kirtle of some kind, because I was a mamba-born bondmaid when I rp’d in Gor YEARS ago… I would still occasionally be harassed by the sim owner over my attire.  One particular instance, it was mentioned in public something about my Earth clothes.  Smartass that I am, I made a comment about looking at her kirtle, trying to find the earth clothes.  The sim owner emoted back at me that she couldn’t see my kirtle underneath my earth clothes.  This was a kirtle from The Shack, people. Come on.  And I wasn’t the only student that was harassed about their attire as well.  Why is Rya no longer teaching in Tarnsport anymore?  Sage (uh oh!  That name again… I was really trying to avoid it…) would probably like to tell you that she kicked Rya out.  However, through a conversation between Sage, Sir Werner, Rya, and Sir LC, they agreed to disagree and Rya decided it would be best to move the classes, for the good of her students.  The graduation for that set of classes was held at the Gorean Campus.

After a successful graduation at the Gorean Campus, Rya went into talks with krista and Lady Janette of the Gorean Campus and it was decided that her classes would come there for her next semester.  We were super excited.  The pavilion was gorgeous, and from the graduation that we held, we knew that the sim could hold its own in lag.  In the beginning, krista was super nice and super helpful.  She was informed of those magic three things that Rya needs for a class to be successful: 1.) Voice, 2.) Gorean and non-Gorean students to be welcome, 3.) Access to the stream.  During the first few classes, we realized that the stream thing was an issue, but krista jumped and was quick to solve the problem.  She invited Rya’s associate teachers (myself, Flame, and Sarah) to the land group, gave us the instructor tags, and allowed the instructors the ability to change the stream.  Things were great.  There were a few instances of people being talked to about “non-Gorean attire”, but it wasn’t near as drama-filled as the issues in Tarnsport.  However, one thing krista really liked to do was Conference IMs and random notecard offers to her friend’s list about the Campus schedule, etc.  I, personally, am not a fan of being spammed, so one night, I quietly removed her from my friend’s list.  It wasn’t anything against her or anything else.  It wasn’t done to spite her or to anger her.  But from that moment on, krista had decided that I was a horrible person and had done it to spite and disrespect her.  I was perfectly cordial in all my dealings with her when asking her about anything Rya needed to know (since Rya was trying to deal with teaching… I tended to take care of behind the scenes stuff that she needed…)  Then things started to slowly happen… first, I was ejected from the land group with no warning.  It turned out, so was Sarah.  Flame and Rya were still in it, so we could still change the stream, even if I personally couldn’t.  But then gradually, Flame was ejected from the land group as well.  Sarah and I and Flame all lost our “instructor” tags in the regular Campus group… and it just became problem after problem.  Eventually, Rya even lost her ability to change the stream, and so we always had to IM krista and ask for the stream to be changed.  Her excuse?  “No one is going to tell me what to do on MY sim.”  No one was trying to tell her what to do.  Rya was just trying to make sure that she continued to receive the three simple things she needed as a part of her initial agreement with krista and Lady Janette: 1.) Voice, 2.) Goreans and non-Goreans alike welcomed in whatever attire they’re comfortable in as long as naughty bits were covered, 3.) Access to the stream.  Why does Rya no longer teach at the Gorean Campus?  After we finished out that second graduation at the Campus, Rya had decided that she was over the drama that was being caused by herself and her teachers losing access to the very simple things she’d initially requested.  She was also tired of krista’s unfounded issues with me guiding her dealings with Rya.  To be blunt, krista treated Rya like shit because she, for whatever reason, decided she didn’t like me.  And so for that reason, Rya chose to move her classes.  She was NOT kicked out of the Gorean Campus.  That has been confirmed with a member of the Gorean Campus staff.

For about 2 or 3 classes, the class moved to a gorgeous garden that I had built as a gift to Rya.  It was initially a gift from my Master to me because He knew how much I really wanted to help Rya in all the bullshit she’d gone through recently.  Rya fell in love with the garden.  The waterfall, all the trees, the pit, the pavilion, everything.  The trees could be changed to suit all four seasons, so we never had to re-landscape if we didn’t want to.  It was just gorgeous.  However, the classes moving from that garden to the arena we’re in now is entirely my fault and, again, I’ll own up to that.  Rya’s biggest concern was that if my Master and I split up for whatever reason, would the classes have to move again.  My Master had said that he would never let anything come before my desire for dance.  That the garden had nothing to do with our personal relationship… so even if we were no longer together, the classes would still be welcomed on the sim.  However, when I asked for release, I didn’t feel I could be around Him or on His sim, given the nature of the relationship ending and so, with Rya’s blessing (a very calm, “Don’t even worry about it, do what you need to do,”) I picked up the garden, and we moved to the arena.  To be fair, even if I had kept the garden at the sim, Master left SL for about 5 months after that, and didn’t pay His tier, etc, so He lost the quarter-sim anyway.  So even if I had left the garden up, we would’ve eventually had to move regardless.  It was just easier to do so towards the beginning of the classes rather than mid-way through when girls were planning their graduation dances.

That leads us to the arena we’re in now.  And for the record, when Shell states that we had to “hide our classes away”… we choose now to be on a private sim that has been offered to us since Rya first began teaching… (yes, really.  Every time we’ve moved, Sir Nalen has asked us, “Why don’t you just use your arena.  I made it for you.”)  It’s not ‘hiding away’.  It’s finally reassuring that once and for all we will continue to keep the 3 basic things that Rya needs in order for a class to be successful: 1.) Voice, 2.) Goreans and non-Goreans alike in whatever attire they choose, 3.) Access to the stream.

Now that you know much more information than necessary about Rya’s class history, you can see that we were never kicked out of anywhere.  There was never an instance of people from a sim we were on thinking Rya is a “bitch”… well, correction, I’m sure Sage thinks Rya’s a bitch… but it’s whatever, because not even a bosk’s ass gives a damn what she thinks in the grand scheme of things.  (Hell, I think she has a worse reputation in the dance community than *I* do, and that’s saying something.)  So Shell, you can have a seat, please.  Stop making accusations about shit you know nothing about.

you have had so many girls go to your classes you wonder why the numbers drop from 19 down to 4 its cos you and your girls drive them off that’s why.

We don’t wonder why the numbers drop from 19 down to 4.  They always drop.  You know why they drop, Shell?  It’s because everyone wants to learn to dance… not everyone wants to do the WORK to learn to dance.  It’s sorta like pageantry.  Everyone wants to be Miss America… but not everyone wants to hunker down and do the work necessary to have even an inkling of a shot at Miss America.  You have to do the work.  You can’t just get by on barely trying and ‘bullying’ your way through.  You of all people should know that.

your no teacher Rya to not allow a person to not finish there graduation after 5 months of working on dances, putting cash in to get endless dance animation, hours apon hours of writing 3 dances, getting props made. for your slutty cunts of girls to bring up dirt from 3 other sims and so forth to shit on me and you have the tits to turn an say after 2 hours of this that the reson I wont graduate is because I cant let go of the past.

Run that by me again?  Rya isn’t a teacher because she doesn’t allow everyone to graduate?  Did you go to University?  Did you tell professors that they weren’t real teachers because not everyone in their class got an A?  Heaven forbid you have to actually do the work and be a decent human being to pass a dance class.  We don’t ask for much from you, Shell… unfortunately, you just wanted the class to revolve around what you could and/or wanted to do.  Class doesn’t work like that.  Life doesn’t work like that.  Sometimes you just have to take a teaspoon of cement and harden the fuck up.  Do what you know needs to be done.  Do your assignments, smile and nod, even if it’s people you don’t like… just like we did… and get through the class with your head down in order to graduate.  Unfortunately for you, you couldn’t do that, and Rya was sick of putting up with your shit.  THAT’S why you didn’t graduate.  YOU did it to YOURSELF.  Just like I told you in your IMs.  You brought all of this upon yourself with how you acted.  You cultivated peoples’ opinions of you.  You alienated yourself from everyone else in that class, including your teachers.  You ultimately came at me in a passive-aggressive attempt to start more drama that lead to your expulsion from the class in the first place.  None of YOUR actions make Rya “not a teacher”.  In fact, it makes her a damn good teacher because she wasn’t willing to continue to allow the rest of her students to suffer for your personal gain.

Hats off to you, Rya.  Cause I sure as hell wouldn’t have put up with her for as long as you did.  Especially with people BEGGING you to remove her from class.  Oh, what’s that, Shell?  You didn’t know about that?  Right, while you’re busy spouting off your half-cocked bullshit about a “vote”, there were students and teachers alike actually BEGGING Rya to remove you from the class.  Rya preferred to let you either stick it out or leave on your own.  So instead of giving Rya shit, you should be THANKING her for putting up with you for as long as she did, despite several people wanting you gone.

Oh, and Flame, Sarah, and I are slutty cunts.  Fantastic!  We’ve all had less collars combined than Shell’s had just since she started Beginners.  Thought you might wanna know.

oh and one more thing before I close this one post, you had us all work on a dance called Ryas world, its about YOU only, well get ready cos Reine intends to change it at the end and add parts into it for her friends only and morph into some angel that’s got nothing to do with you but her and her friends, and you talk about me disrespecting you. not to mension 3 weeks to go out of 5 months and Reine has not even done her 3 dances well she has she just keeps changing them, and it was Reine that was bitching that you had us all do that amount of Maters choices, and it was all done behind your back.

Blah blah, more shit that is completely irrelevant.. blah blah, more attempting to throw her one friend under the bus… blah blah.  Feel free to read or not read that paragraph.  It won’t enhance your understanding of the situation one way or the other.

and if it not for Tivi and her hurtfull words to me id never of brought any of it up to start with because un like you all I was trying to be the better person.

Oh really?  Let’s go there for a moment, shall we?

Saturday evening, the 5th, I was taking a damn nap.  I have RL medical issues, and so there are days when I sleep more than others, and days that I don’t sleep at all.  I was coming off a horrible week and wasn’t sleeping well, so I slept A LOT on Saturday.  I was taking a nap, and I get an IM from Shell.  When she opened my IMs, she didn’t say hi… she didn’t say, “I have a question for you about prim allowance for graduation,” which is what she later claims the entire point of the IM was… she comes at me with this lovely little message:

[2014/04/05 16:25:19] Never Fear ﮎℋεℒℒ Is Here (Shellirene): is there a reason you unfriended me ?

Now… the hilarious part of that message is that I never unfriended her.  There was a night awhile back that she came at Sarah in an incredibly disrespectful manner, and no matter how many times Sarah said, “If you have an issue, take it to Rya,” Shell refused, and kept going off at Sarah.  Anyone who knows me and/or Rya, knows how protective we are of Sarah… so of course, when Sarah, Flame, Rya, and I were in a Skype call WHILE all this was happening, of course I stepped up and told Shell to lay off Sarah.  This started an argument in our box that ended in me going off on Shell and Shell muting me.  Apparently by this time, she’d muted Sarah as well.  Flame hadn’t said a word to her the whole time, and so she offered to copy/paste my last message to Shell, since it was sent after Shell muted me.  When Flame went to do so, she received the autoresponse that SL sends when someone has you muted.  So… hasn’t even said a word to her and already Shell had muted her?  Seriously?  So yeah, Shell knows that she is the one that unfriended and muted me… so the whole basis that she opened the conversation with was just to attempt to incite more drama.  Come on now, what have we all learned about coming at Tivi?  You come correct, or you have a seat.  You don’t come all passive-aggressive and half-cocked.  That’s just asking for trouble.

(I’d like to note that as of this moment, this blog entry is 13,565 words long.  Got the sense that you messed with the wrong person yet, Shell?  That’s if you read this far…)

So of course, you come at me negatively, I’ll come back.  My response was as follows…

[2014/04/05 18:20:49] Tiviyah: If you’ll remember correctly, *you* unfriended *me* when you muted your teachers and were pitching your drama fit awhile back.

Now see… the best part of this is she doesn’t even try to fight it… her very next message states…

[2014/04/05 18:23:00] Never Fear ﮎℋεℒℒ Is Here (Shellirene): yes when you bitched me out first i muted and unfriended you. and you have not helpt me nor offered teach me i only hear from you in class but i un muted you cos rya asked me to

Right.  So you admitted that you muted and unfriended me, yet you purposely come at me in the way you did that night?  You pretty much just flashed a neon sign that says, “Drama whore!  Right here!  I’m trying to cause problems…. AGAIN!”  But sure… I’ll let you have your fun and continue…

[2014/04/05 18:23:34] Never Fear ﮎℋεℒℒ Is Here (Shellirene): but the main reason i was contacting you was to fnd out about the prims with the props
[2014/04/05 18:23:42] Never Fear ﮎℋεℒℒ Is Here (Shellirene): but i worked that out

Really?  If your true purpose was that, then why didn’t you mention that in your IM, especially when it became increasingly clear that I was afk?  Oh wait, I know why I know why!  Ooo Ooo pick me pick me!  It’s because you never had that intention at all.  You just added that in because you DIDN’T want to look like you were trying to start shit.

Unfortunately, I don’t need X-ray glasses to see through that shit… bitch, you’re transparent as hell.

Also, during the actual class on April 7th, Shell, in grasping at straws, then tried to say that it was meant for someone else’s IM… like she was going to blind-side me with some new information.  Again… please… spare me the lying.  If it was truly a case of “wrong box”, then you would’ve pointed it out that night, instead of continuing to start shit.

How stupid do you think I am?  Seriously…

“To everyone that reads this

 Rya Inglewood who runs the *Passionate Heart of Dance, would STRONGLY recommend do not send people there or go there, she is to faced, lies to her students, drives them off by letting her girls

 Flame (scarletfleur)

 Reine (terrilian.belar)

 Tiviyah

 Sarah Elisabeth Brenham (sarahelisebeth.Brenham

 treat each girl like shit and inturn then act inacent that they were in the right to do as such,”

*Clicks her tongue* Ok… so… let me get this straight… you’re going to “STRONGLY recommend” that Free don’t send their girls to Rya’s classes and that girls don’t choose to attend Rya’s classes… for what reason exactly?  For the fact that you wanted to cause drama and thought you should still be allowed to skate on by with sub-par work and be allowed to graduate?

Also, we’ll note that by this point, she no longer is counting Reine as her only friend in this matter and someone who feels the same way as she does… in fact, she’s flipped to the other extreme and has counted Reine’s name among the associate teachers whom she’s accusing of treating people like shit.

And again, even though she doesn’t use the “we” word, she brings up this same we shit.  Apparently the associate teachers are no longer just treating her like shit.  Apparently we’re treating “each girl” like shit and then acting innocently like we were right to do such.

No, Shell.  We were just right to finally kick your overly-emotional, drama-seeking, throw-a-temper-tantrum-like-a-three-year-old ass out of the class when we did.  (I’m still of the opinion that we should’ve done it sooner.)

“they allow you to spend your time siting there for up to 4 hours a class hearing nothing but how great her girls are, or praiseing just the one or two endlessly for weeks on there looks, when it should be about dance,”

Alright.  Let’s address some of these small points.  Up to 4 hours a class?  Class was scheduled for 2 hours… 7-9pm SLT.  Sometimes class did go over… more specifically, it went over on days that Rya was on her soapbox, or the night that we did all the Masters Choice dances in the same night.  Yes, some classes went over, but not all of them.  And unless it was stated otherwise, you were certainly welcome to leave after the allotted two hours a night, because that is all we asked you to plan for.  You chose to stay.  So don’t complain about it now.

Also, apparently she heard nothing but how great her girls are.  By this, she was accusing Rya of only talking about myself, Flame, and Sarah as examples in the class.  I addressed this point when Shell and I had our IM conversation on Saturday, the 5th, but allow me to present that particular point here as well:

[2014/04/05 19:11:49] Tiviyah: 5.) “oh and the biggest is its all about you and flame and sarah. that’s all we get shoved in our faces. what about the advanced. we don’t even get a mention. we worked just as hard to get where we are.” I’m not terribly certain you understand, exactly. I’ve been with Rya since she started teaching… over 2 years ago… I’ve been in every one of her classes. That’s why when I finally took and graduated the Beginners and Advanced classes, it was the running joke that after taking the classes 15 times or so, I finally graduated. Flame and Sarah have been friends with Rya for a LONG time. They have gone through the classes and graduated and have been promoted to teachers and part owners of this group and these classes. We praise the advanced students who do good work all the time. When Iris lets us know she competed and placed somewhere… same with others who are competitive. When we are TOLD about things, we will bring them up and acknowledge the hard work done. However, when it comes to what you’re being TAUGHT in class… Rya uses us as examples because WE’VE BEEN THERE AND GRADUATED… you, right now, are still learning, you’re still the students, you’re still there. You’ve not graduated yet. We are used as an example to motivate you. Just like, if classes resume if Rya gets better, your class will be used as an example if the situation is appropriate. I’ll tell you one thing I can say with at least 99% certainty. If Rya wants to use an example of someone who did a complete 180 and shocked everyone with Masters Choice dances and used them to let her THRIVE… THAT, my dear, will be your example that she uses. No one else has left a legacy with Masters Choices like tht. No one has shocked the shit out of Rya like you did with Masters Choices. When you graduate, you will become an example too.

Please note that I gave her PRAISE here.  I pointed out her improvement on her Master’s choices and stated that she would be used as an example in future classes.  Rya would go on to tell that story to encourage students who didn’t think they were “getting it”.  Shell had her lightbulb moment, it seemed like.  They would too.  That was the legacy Shell originally left in Rya’s classes.  However, did Shell see the compliments that I gave her?  Of course not.  Because she ignored them and went on in our conversation to go right to her next complaint… and then again, it shows she didn’t read the response I gave because here she complains about it again, in that blog post.  Seriously, Shell.  It was pushing it to praise you once.  I’m not doing it again.  You got the praise you deserved over your Masters Choice dances.

As far as praising a student about her looks when it should be about dance… I’m not terribly certain who we spent weeks praising their looks… however, were you paying attention in your Beginners class???  How you look is a PART of how you dance.  How you portray your avatar is a HUGE part of your dance.  YOU are the first thing they see… not your prop… not anything else… YOU.  And YOU are what they focus on.  So if you’re going to half-ass your costume or not pay careful attention to the details of your avatar, then you may as well not be performing the dance, because you didn’t give a shit enough to put the required effort into your appearance.  You can have the prettiest emotes in the world, but if your avi doesn’t match them or match your music, no one is going to understand what the hell you’re dancing about.  It all comes together in dance, Shell.  I guess you missed that in your Beginners class.  (Note to Rya: If she missed this part, how did she get into Advanced, again???)

“and they allow you to put endless amounts of cash into it to buy dance anamations, dance huds, hours and hours of your time in writing dances, getting costumes done getting props done, then only to tell you well yes you have passed then right at the end they say your not graduating cos you wont let go of the past, whichyour past has nothing to do with them, they are there to teach you to dance not judge you on your past, and stop you from graduating.”

Alright.  If anyone out there remembers anything about the beginners class, maybe they can answer this question for me: Does Rya ever make you buy dance animations?  NO.  In fact, Rya tells them NOT to go out and buy dances.  She tells them NOT to buy a dance hud until SHE thinks they’re ready.  There are a few fundamental lessons that they need to get through in the Beginners class before they choose whether or not they’re going to buy ANYTHING.  The biggest reason Rya is so adamant about NOT buying anything to begin with is because of how many girls drop.  If you came in to class #1 and Rya said, “You need to go buy the Female World dance pack from A&M as well as a Barre dance Hud,” then that, right there, is at LEAST L$3,000.  Imagine if, 2 classes later, student Susie Q decides that this dance class is too much work for her.  Then she’s out L$3,000 for shit she’s probably never going to use again.  Rya does not want these girls to financially invest in dance until they know for sure it’s what they want to do.  Clearly it wasn’t what you wanted to do, Shell, so WHY did you go out and buy animations and buy a HUD?  (Again, Rya, I’m starting to wonder how she made it to Advanced if she missed so many of the basics from Beginners….)

Who said you had to get props done?  Again, boys and girls, what is one of the first things Rya tells you about props?  What is the most important prop?  YOURSELF.  Anything else is a bonus and is not required for a good dance.  The first competition that I did after at least a year and a half of being out of the sands… I did a very simple dance.  3 minutes and 12 seconds.  Nothing horribly long.  And it was just me… me, my costume, my animations, my music, and my emotes.   No prop.  No nothing.  Just me and my little 3 minute dance.  There were some AMAZING dances that day.  Some much longer dances, some girls with props, some girls with much more elaborate costuming.  But you know what… I won that competition that day… and I did so with, I believe, 11 points off from a perfect score.  Between 3 judges, I mark that as pretty damn good for me.  Props are not required to have a good dance.  You need a dance that YOU connect to emotionally, that YOU enjoy doing (or feel you need to do, if it’s not a happy dance that you can ‘enjoy’… mine was heartbreaking, but I needed to do it)… if YOU are not into your dance, no one else will be.  I don’t care if your prop lights up, spins around, changes shape three different times and not only makes but serves me coffee… if your dance is shit, your prop isn’t going to help it.  You shouldn’t have been dropping L$5,000 on a prop for a dance… you should’ve been making sure that your dance was complete first… and then decided if a prop was needed… and if it was… it should never take away from your dance, only enhance it.  Something tells me a L$5,000 prop was going to be far too much and would distract from your dance.

Then perhaps you would’ve failed your final exam of the graduation and not gotten to graduate… then we’d be right back here where we are now.  It seems all roads lead to you not graduating and throwing a fit about it…

“I highly recommend if the free want there girls to learn dance DONT send them to Rya. she and her girls are posion. and will waiste your time and your girls time and money by attending these classes.”

Again with this recommending thing.  Good thing your opinion doesn’t mean shit in the grand scheme of things, because no one cares whether you recommend or not.  Just because YOU didn’t want to do the work to learn to dance doesn’t mean that other people won’t get a lot out of the class and become wonderful dancers as a result of their own desire and Rya’s teachings.

You see… that’s the thing… you can’t just attend a class and BAM! you become a good dancer.  You could attend all the classes in the world… and yet if you don’t WANT it and don’t WORK at it, you’re never going to get there.  You’re never going to be great, or even good.  If that desire and that passion isn’t in you to express who you are in dance… then you can’t expect to step out there and be amazing at it.

Also, if you wasted money, that was your own choice.  Rya never charged a “fee” to take her classes.  She never FORCED anyone to buy ANYTHING.  And in fact, when it came to the two things students were asked to buy for graduation: the costume & an ending pose.. Rya gave you the lindens for the costume, and I gave you the lindens for the ending pose.  You were required to spend a whole L$0 of your own money.  And if anything else, you owe Rya the money for the costume and you owe me the money for the pose.  However, are we going to harass you about it and bother you until you pay it?  No.  I couldn’t give a shit less.  Pursuing the lindens you owe me would mean talking to you again and that’s really not on my to-do list for any time in the foreseeable future.

In fact, if I die and end up in hell… and I see you there… and you even try to say “hello”… even THEN… it will be too soon.

“that’s when Rya can be botherd to even show up.”

That first day that Rya came back after her visit to the Doctor and you could tell in her voice that she was barely able to hold it together for the sake of the class… that was the first class when she announced there wouldn’t be another semester of the classes for the time being, until she came back and stated otherwise.  That night?  Do you remember that night?  None of us knew what was going on.  She wouldn’t even tell ME when I asked her what the doctor had said.  All I got was, “Not now, I can’t in front of the class.  I’m trying to keep it together for them.  I’ll tell you soon, I promise.”

At that point, I was in tears.  I had to ask her, in order to keep from sending myself into a panic attack, “Just answer me one question… is the cancer back?”

THAT is how sick Rya had been… bed-ridden… in so much pain… barely able to walk… when Flame said it in her blog, it may have seemed like a melodramatic exaggeration, but I’m going to re-iterate it… we were worried that Rya was dying.  It was a very likely possibility.  When Rya went for the bone scan of her knees, we were discussing the distinct possibility that the cancer had returned and had finally made it into her bones.  When it gets into your bones… that’s it.  That’s all she wrote.  There’s not a lot of coming back from that.  Not for someone who is as tired of fighting as Rya is.

THAT was the reality that we were facing.

Thank our lucky stars that it WASN’T cancer, however Rya is still not ok.  She’s feeling so much better thanks to her new medication… the doctors seem to have finally figured out what’s wrong and are getting her the necessary treatment… but you know what.. .it’s not cure-able.  So eventually… could be 50 years from now… but eventually… it will take her from us.  You don’t take a situation like that lightly.

You don’t take medical situations lightly.

You don’t take terminal diseases lightly.

I would know… I’m in the same boat.

So I’m sorry, Shell, if again, the world cannot just stop spinning to suit you.  I’m sorry if other peoples’ medical problems cannot just magically go away because you think it’s inconveniencing your dance class schedule.  I’m sorry that Rya could barely move to go to the bathroom… take a shower or a bath… MAKE HERSELF FOOD OR GET WATER… Rya could barely function enough to keep herself alive from a nutritional standpoint… let alone worry about a dance class in a virtual program.  As much as she loves (most of) her students, and as much as she cares for your success… she’s not about to kill herself (quite literally) to get to a dance class.

And she’s not going to ask more of her associate teachers than we can handle, with our various RL and SL issues and commitments and obligations.

So yeah, sometimes Rya didn’t show up.  But she certainly had her reasons.

At this point, I’m not even going to go into the comment that Shell left in response to Flame commenting on this particular blog entry and letting her know that her out of context crap was refuted and explained in detail on her own blog post.  I will say, though, that Shell is a freaking psycho.  Her first words to Flame were telling her to shove a chainsaw between her thighs and turn it on full.  Like… seriously?  Who does that?  What kind of mentally healthy individual tells someone something like that?

None that I know.

And yet Flame and I are the ones supposedly causing people to kill themselves over massive bullying?

Yeah, don’t think that I’ve forgotten the bully word that she dragged me into.

However… at damn near 17,000 words and nearly 12 hours of writing on this blog (yes, I’ve been in a Skype call bouncing back and forth between a call with Rya, a call with Master, or a call with Rya AND Master… and the current call time is 11 hours; 48 minutes; and 22 seconds.)  I have to say that I’ve already given your blog post WAY too much of my time.

Sometime this weekend, I’ll write a part two and address some of my personal OPINIONS on this matter… because remember this WHOLE blog post was simply my response to all the sophomoric bullshit that Shell was spewing in her giant run-on sentence of a blog post the other day.

I haven’t gotten into the the meat of the conversation between her and I… and I haven’t even really gotten into the circumstances of class on Monday, the 7th.  There’s so much more to talk about, but DAMN my hands hurt.  I need to take a break.

And so…. until part two… I simply have this to say as my last words to Shell for this post… (thank you, Master, for the permission to phrase it this way…. you made my day…)

You, madam, can go fuck yourself.

Reflections on Confession #13

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tumblr_mcu175Z30h1r5plry(Image found via Google and is a satire to the attitude of the two petty slaves involved in this drama.)

Ok.  There are definitely a few things that I have to say about what this issue in the Soaring Herlit has brought forth in the dance community.  And believe it or not, think I’m crazy or not, I’m actually glad it happened.

  • As a couple of people have pointed out via various notecards and things sent around, this is NOT the first instance of things like this happening in the Gorean dance community.  I, myself, have been sabotaged twice by dancers who decided to change information notecards before sending them to me.  These are the things that happen in the Gorean dance community all the time and get swept under the rug.  It’s unfortunate, but it’s true.
  • Given the facts behind the above statement, I have to disagree with one Master who stated that this (I believe he was referring to all the drama that ensued around this issue) is the minority of the Dance Community.  That most of the dance community in Gor is good.  Unfortunately, Master, as much as we would like to believe that it is good, it is terribly fragmented.  Not even just about issues like this.  The whole community has been fragmented for years over the issue of dance faction vs. story faction… with dance faction dancers saying that story faction dancers are not truly dancing and need to be in ‘storytelling’ competitions instead.  And, on the other side, story faction dancers being upset that they feel they are not allowed to express their feelings in a dance and are limited to the ‘inside the box’ idea of only describing body movements… that you can already see from an animation.  So the issue might always change, but the Gorean dance community has always been fragmented.  This issue just brought it all to light.  (Which, was the intent, by the way… since you also questioned the intent of Confession #13… the intent was to defend Flame and bring issues like this to light.)
  • I have never not been a controversial person.  However, the last time I wrote a GREATLY controversial post, calling out a dance judge who unfairly scored several dancers and made statements to which they had no proof, and called them out in a major way… people came out of the WOODWORK with IMs saying, “Oh my god, I stopped dancing because of things she said to me.  It’s nice to know I”m not the only one, and maybe I’m not as bad as she said… maybe I should start dancing again.”  THAT is what can happen when you bring issues out into the limelight.  THAT is what happens when you force people into a position of either continuing to piss and moan and talk themselves in circles… or stand up and take responsibility for their actions.
  • That’s another thing… this whole issue has been about two things: 1.) Flame’s innocence & 2.) Calling the people involved (YES, there is more than just the “Master” involved) to take responsiblity for their actions.  In light of that, I FULLY admit that I am very VERY outspoken, and I don’t hide what I really feel behind the walls of flowery language and trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings.  I call it like I see it, I saw what I think and what I feel, and I OWN the fact that I do that.  Given that this is my blog, there is nothing wrong with my blunt statements about the situation, and the harsh way that I describe the petulance exhibited by the two slaves and the “Master” involved… because it is my blog.  This is an open forum and it is my right to say what I wish.
  • That brings me to one more thing… a little bit of a bigger issue.

Some of you might notice that in one of the comments on that blog, Sage tells me that she did not give me permission to post her dance, and COMMANDS me to remove it immediately.  When Sage stepped into the sands, she did not propose a liscensing agreement before sharing her dance (which is a strung together sequence of commonly used English phrases… just as every dance is…) and then, by sharing the dance in an open public area, in the local chat of a virtual medium, in a game that has the tool and the ability to log said local chat… everything is subject to fair use, in this case, because commentary is made about the dance, regarding its similarity to another dance.

For those who are not familiar with ‘fair use’, here is a definition, to aid in understanding:

Fair use is a limitation and exception to the exclusive right granted by copyright law to the author of a creative work. In United States copyright law, fair use is a doctrine that permits limited use of copyrighted material without acquiring permission from the rights holders. Examples of fair use include commentary, search engines, criticism, news reporting, research, teaching, library archiving andscholarship. It provides for the legal, unlicensed citation or incorporation of copyrighted material in another author’s work under a four-factor balancing test.”

What is this four-factor balancing test that it mentions?  Here are the four factors to consider when using something under the ‘fair use’ exception:

  1. The purpose and character of the use, including whether such use is of a commercial nature or is for nonprofit educational purposes.
  2. The nature of the copyrighted work.
  3. The amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole
  4. The effect of the use upon the potential market for or value of the copyrighted work.

Now, let’s look at these four factors in detail, in regards to Sage’s dance, shall we?

1.) The purpose and character of the use, including whether such use if of a commercial nature or is for nonprofit educational purposes.

The purpose and nature of the use was as a direct comparison to another girls’s dance (Flame’s).  It was needed for comparison given that the accusation made against Flame is that she stole Sage’s dance.  To use one dance and not the other does not bring the whole situation to light, and thus both dances are needed to prove the uniqueness of each.

2.) The nature of the copyrighted work

The work, in this case, was the text of a dance that was displayed in open public in a virtual medium that provides the tools to log said open public chat.  Also, it should be stated again that no liscensing agreement was propose upon entering the sands… which might seem preposterous, but given that this dancer has chosen to file DMCA based on this, nothing is preposterous anymore.

3.) The amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole.

The work was used in its entirety, so as to not skew opinions one way or the other.  Proper citations were made, the dancer’s name was kept in her post, and the lead-in to its posting gave credit to the dancer by first name as well.

4.) The affect of the use upon the potential market for or the value of the copyrighted work.

Well, to my knowledge, Sage was not going to sell her dance, so the market portion is irrelevant.  Also, given that monetary value is not placed on words written for a dance, the ‘value’ of the copyrighted work is not infringed upon.  No one who thought the dance was a good dance is suddenly going to think it isn’t, simply because of it being posted in another medium.. just like no one who thought it was bad is going to think it’s good.  No affect on the value was intended nor had.

So now, you can see that per the fair use policy… which this particular work IS subject to by definition, as it was posted for commentary and for teaching.  Teaching in that it was being posted in direct comparison to another dance, showing that both were unique and original works of the others that claimed them… as opposed to one being stolen by another, as the accusation came about.

However, now that I’ve taken time to explain to you about how the posting of the dance is perfectly legal by the fair use policy, I’m going to tell you that it’s perfectly legal, and that the fair use policy does not apply at all… and do you know why?

Sage’s dance is not copyrighted.

Things like DMCA and other similar violations deal with COPYRIGHT violations… not just thing that piss you off.  Furthermore, credit was given to the original author of the dance, and so it cannot even be said that I stole the dance and tried to pass it off as my own.  There was FULL credit given to the dancer, mentioning her by first name and that it was her dance, and then keeping her first and last Second Life name in each post, crediting them to the dancer who originally performed the dance.  No theft of any kind occurred here, and certainly no copyright violation.

Now, a little bit about copyright.  You can’t just say that because the dance came out of your head that it is copyrighted to you.  Unfortuantely, in the United States of America, it doesn’t work like that.  There is a process for filing copyright on something, and the process is said to take, on average, at this current time, around 2.8 months, if done via e-filing… and 5.5 months if done via snail mail (postage).  And further more, if a copyright is approved, then the copyright date starts the day that the office RECEIVES a hard copy of the material, correct payment (a REDUCED fee of $35 for e-filing), and all proper paperwork and requests.  It does not start on the day you file.  It starts on the day the office receives everything and determines that all your i’s are dotted and t’s are crossed.

So, to account for the 2.8 – 5.5 month time constraint on filing for a copyright, that means that Sage must’ve FINISHED writing her dance and submitted her materials and payment to the US Copyright Office NO LATER than February 1st, in order to account for the shortest processing time of 2.8 months, in order to receive her certificate of copyright by May 18th, when the competition occurred.

This might seem completely ridiculous to most of you, but unfortunately, Sage filed what is called a “DMCA Takedown Notice” against my blog post that contains her dance.  DMCA Takedown Notices deal with copyright infringement.  And since it seems that WordPress will not ask her for the proof, then I was ask, here and now:

Sage, if you can scan in a photo of your copyright certificate for your dance to prove that I did indeed use copyrighted material of yours without your permission, and show the picture via email or attaching it to a blog comment (can attaching images to comments be done?  I’m not sure…) then I will ignore the fair use exception and take the dance down.  And I will even issue a public apology for using the copyrighted material without your permission.

On the other hand, if you do not have the copyright certificate, as I’m guessing you don’t, then feel free to file Takedown Notices all you want to, but it proves that you have no idea what you’re talking about.

For the record, even if you want to pay the fee to copyright your dance NOW, and in 2.8-5.5 months have a certificate to show, this blog post was posted before the effective copyright date and would not be in violation of DMCA or other copyright laws.  🙂

Ok, too much legal for one day.

The bottom line of this whole reflection is, aside from debunking another attempt from a desperate girl who is flailing trying to figure out how she can combat all the truth being spouted about the kind of person she is… is that I’m GLAD this whole situation happened.

Given the notices that I’ve seen circulate through the Gorean Dance Contests group, and the girls that showed up at an impromptu meeting called via Rya’s class group, to support Rya… this situation has taught the dancers that they DO have a voice.  Even if the “Free” are trying to say that they are going to dance Gorean Dance back into their own hands and that it should be used as a method of pleasing the free, not for the spotlight of a slave and are trying to take our voice away… this situation has proven that the dancers DO still have a voice, and has given them the courage (or pissed them off enough) to make them stand up and USE that voice.  I, for one, am actually very proud at how our community is coming together.  We might not all be on the same side of the story, but we are all using our voice and are all wanting a more unified dance community that does not sweep issues like this under the rug.

And if I or anyone else earned myself some people hating me, some people name calling at me, some people throwing big, tough statements at me while hiding behind the safety of their own computer, then that’s fine.  Because this whole situation has caused dancers to speak up and USE THEIR VOICE.

And I couldn’t ask for anything more.

Well, wait… I could.  I could ask that two of the three responsible parties… the two petty slaves… stand up and take responsibility for their actions.  The “Master” has owned his… and has owned theirs.  Now it’s time for them to own up to their part in it and put the whole thing to bed.

And for the record, you know how in a verbal argument you can always tell who’s lying or who knows they’re wrong by who fights the hardest to prove that they’re right?  You’ll notice that most of my comments to Sage have been laid back, “I’ve done nothing wrong, g’night Sage.”  While Sage has hurled attacks every which way and even went so far as to file a DMCA Copyright Violation in regards to non-copyrighted works.  Who is fighting the hardest to prove that they’re write, and in the end, only digging themselves a deeper hole?

But after all, if both dances could not be seen… then no one would truly be able to know if one was a copy of the other, right?  Which is exactly how Sage wanted it.

Unfortunately, the law doesn’t play into your hands.  The law doesn’t conform to your rules… you conform to the law.

❤ Tivi

 

The websites that I forgot to list yesterday, ironically enough from the same website that Black Ort found:

http://www.copyright.gov/help/faq/faq-register.html
http://www.copyright.gov/help/faq/faq-what.html#certificate

Confession #13: Shit Rolls Downhill

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Got ethics ?(Image found via Google.)

Now, most of you will probably be able to tell what I want to write about by the cover image… but just in case you can’t… let’s have a little chat about Ethics in Dance, shall we?

First, though, let’s be sure that we’re all on the same page about a few important things:

  • A particular piece of music does NOT belong to the dancer who selected that music.  The only people who OWN that music are the artist(s) and the songwriter(s).
  • There is only so much music out there.  It is likely that, at some point in time, more than one dancer is going to use a particular song.
  • For something to be “stolen” from one person and “used” by another, the content needs to be the same… or at least similar.  Using broad generalizations like, “Oh my god, her dance involved death!  She stole my dance!”  Lots of dances involve death.  Just like, unfortunately  lots of dances involve sex.  Do you see every sex-dancing kajira out there claiming that everyone else stole their dance?
  • To call people out by name in a public way, i.e. local chat or a publicly-viewable profile is not just “stating your opinion.”  To call them out by name and state things about them that not only can you not back up, but proof actually exists to the CONTRARY is not just “stating your opinion”.  It’s called slander… it’s called Defamation of Character.  Linden Labs calls it “Harrassment > Defaming individuals or groups”.  And for the record, it’s not just against the SL Terms of Service.  It’s illegal.  You know, like, against the law in the United States of America.  (Which all SL residents are subject to, regardless of country of origin, as the servers are based out of America.  Fun fact.)
  • That whole networking thing can either be a really awesome tool… or it can come back and bite you in the ass when you piss off the wrong person.
  • You pissed off the wrong group of people.

Ok.  Now that I’ve gone into a little more detail than I wanted to at the start of this post… let’s go back to the veeeeeeeery beginning of this WHOLE thing.

A little while ago (I can’t say specifically when, because my teacher and I were not speaking at the time), my dance teacher, Rya Inglewood, began teaching her dance classes in the City of Tarnsport.  The sim itself is owned by a slave, first girl Sage Betson.  The Administrator, as could be expected, is Sage’s Master, Werner Tripsa.

Yeah, I’m not going to mince words here, and I’m not going to leave out names for the benefit of overly-sensitive people.  You’re getting ALL the information.

At the time that Rya agreed to come and teach on the sim, there was one thing I KNOW was agreed upon, even if Sage claims it was not.  Rya’s class was to be OOC (out of character).  Rya and her students would never disrespect the sim or its management, however, not all the girls that attend Rya’s classes are Gorean.  So they could not be in character in a world they do not roleplay in.  Rya agreed that the girls would wear Gorean clothing, to respect the sim.  But otherwise, the class as a whole, was out of character.

The longer the classes went on, the more and more girls were starting to feel uncomfortable.  I admit that I was one of the ones harassed by Sage about the clothing I was wearing “not being Gorean”… which, by the way, I was wearing clothing from the *Shack*.  I was ONE of them… but I was NOT the only one.  After awhile of Rya’s students coming to her with these issues, Rya had a sit-down with Sage, with both Masters present.  The issues were discussed, openly… Rya remained very professional.  In the end, it was decided that perhaps it’s best to agree to disagree, and Rya moved the classes.

One would think that it would end there, yes?  Oh, but darling, remember, this is SL Gor… the drama has only begun.

During one of the last classes held at the City of Tarnsport, a lot of girls (admittedly, not to my knowledge) showed up in various clothing from the *Shack*.  I was instructed by my Master to dress fully in character… so I was in FULL OUT mamba get-up.  All these other girls were in kirtles, silks, furs, etc… all from the *Shack*.  It was at that point that I got an IM from Flame, a fellow student (ScarletFleur Resident).  Flame is a girl that I had known as a student… but I didn’t know her very well, nor would I have called us extremely close.  But in that IM, it very simply stated, “Wearing a kirtle for support.”  In that moment, I felt a connection with Flame, and with all those girls.  It was nice to have people stick up for me in a time when I needed it and felt very much alone.

Fast-forward a little bit… to May 18th, 2013.

Landa was to have a dance competition, and in light of some issues there (no, I don’t know what the issues are, please don’t ask), The Soaring Herlit volunteered to take over the hosting of the competition.  Lady Demure Falconer, a wonderful organizer and, as I’m learning slowly about Her, a very strong and wonderful woman in general, seemed to be spear-heading this competition now.  Flame was a competitor… as was Sage… as well as another girl from Tarnsport, Julienn Sands.  (She will become more important later.)  Rya, her Master, as well as many girls from the dance class, came out to support Flame.  I felt bad that I could not attend, as it took place during the time that I work in RL on Saturdays.

When it came down to the placement of dancers, Julienn took third place, Flame took second place, and Sage won.

I can’t tell you what Julienn’s dance was about, as I was not there and did not see it.  Flame’s dance was a dance that she had had ideas about since at least January or February and had OFFICIALLY begun working on in March.  This, is her dance:

20 ahn ago she danced for his pleasure, she still hears the music in her head, sees the broad smile on his face the sound of his strong hands clapping with the musicians. Now she hears her own wails and the sound of the crackling pyre. The music won’t be silent in her head, her heart calls her to dance…one last dance for her beloved Master. Walking her toward the growing flames she is grateful, the Slaver did not have to be so kind. He did not have to let her say a final goodbye, to delay taking her to the block. Eyes locked on the ground…she cannot look into the flames as she kneels.

/me climbs to unsteady legs, the sweet refrain of the music in her head commanding the body to move. Wiping tears away, her hands rise and touch her shaking form as her mind replays the time in his collar. Slender, strong arms rise and weave beckoning to the flames as if to call him back to her. The flames light flickers and plays over creamy skin and crimson hair that sparkles like the embers.

Hands rise to cross over the fiery curls as they did when she submitted to him on that fateful day he took her from her fallen city. Stripped of veil and robes, knowing her fate… his eyes devouring her sweet face and ripe body ignited the fire of a slave in her belly. No shame or fear as he put her on her knees before him, his hands loosened her crimson locks and let them fall to her soft shoulders before lowering himself to claim what was now his.

/me hears the music in her head rise and fall, spinning her around like a flower petal in the summer breeze outside his house. Pirouetting onto toes she remembers dancing with joy in the lush grass as he sat fletching his arrows watching her, grinning. Playful smile gracing her full lips as she stretches arms out wrapping them, as if his arms around her lithe form, an invitation to leave his work and lay in the verdant green under the warm sun.

/me graceful arms sweep forward, lowering to the ground body arching backwards like it did when he lay her to his shield for his use. His hands pressing into the soft flesh of her hips as his mouth kissing the firm belly where the fire of desire for him burned hot.

Spinning before the fire mind screaming out in agony to the Priest Kings, cursing them for taking her love Master! Eyes close to the sight of the pyre letting the music rush forward to the mind again, the thump of her heart is the beat of the tabor, the breeze is the soft murmur of the flutes.

/me runs and leaps toward the flames but is brought up short by the slavers rope, twisting away, she wrapping her arms around herself trying to find comfort even if she can not join him. Her heart cries out for one more touch of his hand, one more taste of his lips…just one more day! Just one more ahn! Smoke and tears choke as if the rope collar on the slender neck was strangling the life from the frantic form dancing before the fire, the shattered heart crying out it’s torture.

/me bends to the ground, tips of her fingers gently brush the ground at her feet sending it scattering on the hot breeze. Slender arms windmill over head sending the partials scented by her touch to welcome him to the City of Dust. “Remember me”, her heart cries out, “as I will remember you my Master, for a thousand years!” Slender body writhes feeling the passion burning for him to her deepest core, “no other will ever hold that place”, she promises the flames.

/me spins and weaves, hand reach out in silent a plea, how is she to continue?!? His countenance before her she hears his words reminding that she is kajira, obedient…beautiful. Heart pounding, chest heaves with ragged breaths…she quiets. She loved and was loved she wore his collar with pride and honor.

/me stops lowering hands to her sides and collapses to the ground. Head bowed she hears the Slaver call to her…

“The block awaits kajira”

Rising, she obediently follows… whispering La kaijra Master.

Sage’s dance is one that I have seen before.  It was a dance that she’d been working on in class, and had asked Rya’s help with.  I remember this dance in particular because Sage was asking Rya’s advice IN CLASS, and Rya mentioned a point in the dance where it was like a “switch” was activated and she could finally see Sage.  Rya went on to say she wanted to be able to see Sage the entire dance, and the class proceeded to give her advice and suggestions on how to improve.  How exactly that still fits the competition criterion about being 100% original work, I’m not sure, but I trust the competition organization process to deal with that one.  It is not my battle to fight.  This, is Sage’s dance, as posted on the 18th:

[01:25 PM] Sage (sage.betsen): ready

[01:26 PM] Sage (sage.betsen) falls to her knees upon entering her Masters emptied home, placing a small basket on the floor. Gone now for so long her heart aches for a sign of his return, the sound of his voice, the touch of his hand. Such unbearable pain, how much can one heart hold before it fails to care at all.

[01:26 PM] Sage (sage.betsen) pushes up, collecting herself, ‘Master, I will dance you home,’ she whispers to walls that once echoed with his love and laughter but now stand as cold and silent as she feels inside. Empty arms reach out, sweeping forward in a spiral of despair.

[01:27 PM] Sage (sage.betsen) spins with emotions that flood her soul with confusion, “Why has he not returned?” Soft blue eyes that once sparkled in reflection of his love now see only darkness and despair. Like the cobwebs in the corners of this shell he once called home, she now sways, lost in despair, slender arms pushing out against the loneliness and fear.

[01:28 PM] Sage (sage.betsen) lifts a shaking hand, trembling fingers touch her fragile heart, afraid of opening that door, fearing to close it even more. ‘I beg you Master, warm me once again, make me breathe, take this lost girl where it is that you may be.’ Delicate hands extend from a heavy chest, mimicking the offering of a wanting heart.

[01:28 PM] Sage (sage.betsen)’s arms draw back, arching shadows on the wall, rising above long copper locks then, as if to sweep the pain from memory they circle down. Turning her back as if to shield her vision of the loss once sure feet stumble in her dance, left to right before nearly falling to her knees. ” I can not give you up my Master” the whisper echoes in the empty room.

[01:29 PM] Sage (sage.betsen) cries but no-one hears, the room grows cold, encroaching on her heart. As daylight fades to dark, her shadow too soon slips away, the parallel of her Master clearly drawn across her breaking heart. Tears well up in tortured eyes as they look around the empty room, still no sight of him. How could that be?

[01:30 PM] Sage (sage.betsen) stops, head lays gently back as soft hands touch palm to palm. Pleading arms reach up in desperation. ‘I beg you, my Master, with all that you have made this girl to be, come to claim her as yours again, forevermore to dance for you.’ 
A flash of light fills the room, his scent drawn now in every breath. A gentle touch upon her waist is felt, his whispered voice she hears, ‘ Dance, kajira, dance.’

[01:30 PM] Sage (sage.betsen)’s heart fills with his light, in remembrance of how he smiled as she danced for him, of the dances they had shared. How he held her in his arms so close as he whispered in her ear, ‘My love slave.’ She now danced with joy, moving lightly on her toes, arms lifting up and shoulders square, she could feel him now, he must be near.

[01:31 PM] Sage (sage.betsen) smiles as she dances beautifully for him. Well toned legs lifting her to pirouette, kicking high and landing softly to begin again. Sure that soon he would be with her, ‘Your girl is not afraid, my Master,’ her trembling voice whispers to the night. Tears no longer streamed but merely trickle over crimson cheeks.

[01:32 PM] Sage (sage.betsen) has waited so long for him, the lonely days and empty nights. Fearing other Masters would add her to their chain, to be just another girl on the coffle. To never hear her Master’s voice, never again to lay flesh to flesh in sweet embrace, That could not be his wish for her. A tender heart broken beyond repair, pain and sorrow to be forever bared, a collar of loveless steel placed around her neck.

[01:32 PM] Sage (sage.betsen) dances near the basket she has placed upon the floor, it’s contents carefully packed for safety. Toned arms weave in mimicked taunting, long waves of copper locks drift and fall on shoulders heavy in despair as sloping hips sweep gently with each step. The languid moves he once enjoyed right in this very room. In one graceful step a foot extends, the basket kicked, it’s contents freed.

[01:34 PM] Sage (sage.betsen) dances around the room, spin by spin the ost watches, knowing the strike will end her pain and free her heart. Head up high, the sting is felt,
a deep breath drawn and whispered out,
‘Your girl is not afraid, my Master, I will dance my way to you.” His voice soft and closer now, ‘Come mine, to my arms.’

[01:34 PM] Sage (sage.betsen) falls into the darkness of the light, forevermore to dance with him.

Now, you’ll notice, both dances involve dead Masters.  And, for the record, Sage’s music was a composition of two different songs.  The second song used was “A Thousand Years”, by Christina Perri.  The studio version was used.  Flame’s music was a cover of Christina Perri’s song “A Thousand Years,” covered by The Piano Guys and SPECIALLY edited for her by Rya’s Master, LC (LordCougar Beornssen).  Could there have been a little better policing of the music, with the girl who entered the latest of the two being asked to use different music, given the similarity?  Sure.  Perhaps.  But, with Sage’s being part of a compilation and Flame’s being an entirely different version, the songs are far from the same.

Two dances, both well done.  Both done about dead Masters.  But the dances in and of themselves are completely different.  Dare I say, Unique.  This is because they were written by two different dancers… and each dancer is unique.  Flame is a very different person than Sage.  Am I saying she is better for being different?  No.  Am I saying she’s worse?  Not at all.  She’s just different.  And her unique perspective on the subject matter of a dead Master is what makes her dance different than Sage’s.  It’s just proof that two people can approach the same BROAD subject matter in two completely different ways.

Unfortunately, I did not write this blog post to show you all two beautiful dances and end the world in sunshine and happy rainbows.

After the judges announced the placings and people were congratulating the winners and leaving (conveniently after all members of Flame’s “cheering section” and Flame herself had left the sim), Julienn’s Owner, Aiden Hallenbook, put a statement in local chat, telling people to look at his profile.  Contained therein, in the picks section, was a pick called “Shame on you!”  This pick proceeded to accuse Flame of STEALING Sage’s dance… and proceeded to blatantly SLANDER Flame, Rya, and LC BY NAME.  Shame on them for letting this happen.  They know nothing of Gor.  They know nothing of dance.  Unfortunately, if you were to go and search this “Master” and look at his profile, the pick has been removed.  (Perhaps this had something to do with the 6+ people who reported him to Linden Labs for “Harassment > Defaming individuals or groups”?)  BUT, lucky for me, I possess a screenshot of the pick while it was in his profile.  Here ya go:

Aiden Hallenbook

Really, BUD?  Does Flame’s dance look STOLEN to you?  And for that matter, why would Flame, when she has her own unique and wonderful writing style, stoop to the level of stealing a dance from Sage?  Why would Flame, who has the capacity to write new dances for every competition she enters want to steal a dance from Sage that most people have already seen MANY times?  Shame on Rya for knowing?  For knowing WHAT, exactly?  For KNOWING that Sage’s dance was the product of her original ideas AND the aid of fellow students that she later turned her back on?  For KNOWING that Sage has had a personal vendetta against Flame since the classes were moved, and perhaps even before then?  For KNOWING that petty bullshit exists in SL?  Ok, Rya is probably guilty of knowing all of these things.  However, Rya is NOT guilty of “knowing” that Flame “stole” Sage’s dance, because the dance wasn’t stolen!  Shame on LC for letting His do rotten things?  Rya hasn’t done a rotten thing in the entirety of the YEARS that I’ve known her.  You know some of the rotten things I’ve seen lately?  I’ve watched a sim owner try to incite drama amongst current students of a particular dance class, knowing that some students would have to choose between their dance class and their homestone.  I’ve watched a sim owner try to tell an OWNED slave what she should and shouldn’t do, and defy that OWNED slave’s OWNER’S commands and protocols.  I’ve watched that same sim owner try and start drama in RYA’S class group… of which she was merely a part of as a student, not a moderator or staff of any kind.  And these rotten things, you know who’s the source for ALL of them?

Sage Betson.

So you want to cast shame on someone for doing “rotten things”… look for the souce.  Don’t blame Rya because you think you can and no one will think twice about it.

The bottom line is, this was not a case of Flame stealing Sage’s dance and getting caught.  This is a rather unfortunate case of what happens when two pissy princess slaves get it into their head that they can start a lie to try and ruin another girl’s experience not only in that competition, but in dance in general.  If you want to be petty, fine… that’s your prerogative   If you want to be deceitful, fine… that’s your prerogative as well.  If you want to meddle in EACH OTHER’S lives for the sake of your own amusement, sure… knock yourselves out.  You both deserve the luck you receive.  However, do me a favor and leave people out of it who do not consent to be a part of your sick, twisted game.  Play headgames with weak people… don’t play headgames with me.

When Aiden removed the pick from his profile, he added a line to the “About” section on the front to read: “Everything I state in my profile, picks, or in chat, ims is my opinion. disagree or agree it does not matter.”

Unfortuantely, you’ll find it does matter.  Y’all done fucked this one up good.

You will reap what you sew.
You.  Are NOT. Prepared.

Comprising a list of other blog posts on this matter, to be sure everyone is properly informed:

http://dancingsubmissive.blogspot.com/2013/05/blog-post-1.html
http://flamesburning.wordpress.com/2013/05/21/ok/
http://passionateheartofdance.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/power-of-the-written-word/

Confession #12: Dance Takes EFFORT From YOU!

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(Honestly, this image has nothing to do with this post topic.  It’s just a picture I’ve done recently of me getting cozy with my alt.  Photo posed, taken, and edited by me.)
~Sighs~
There are a lot of selfless people in SL, as well as a lot of selfish people.  I am fortunate enough to be close to some of the most selfless people I have ever met… but at the same time, I also have the misfortune of having met some of the most selfish.  You have to take the good with the bad… at least, that’s what they keep telling me.
But sometimes, enough is enough.  And frankly, I’ve had enough.
A lot of you understand that I sing the praises of my dance teacher very often.  I think very highly of her, I respect her, I continue to learn so much from her, no matter how many times I’ve taken her classes.  My dance teacher is one of the most SELFLESS people that I have ever been blessed to know.  Some of you may not know, if you didn’t know her when she started… she started doing these dance classes as a “Facilitator” for different discussion venues… and so she set out a tipjar, and she was relying on tips to pay her tier.  She gave up her home in SL at one point… the one space that was just for her that SHE was sustaining (unlike her build pad, which was given to her)… she gave it up because tips weren’t coming in.  At one point, a plea was sent out in the group by her Master, about tips and about how He wasn’t sure if the students realized that those tips were how Rya was paying for her land.
Some of you may be shocked right now, because you’ll note that Rya no longer sets out her tip jar, and she also no longer fills the “Facilitator” role at discussion sims.  She has evolved from a Facilitator that happened to be teaching dance… into a true DANCE TEACHER.  I’ve watched this evolution, and I’ve grown to love her classes even more than I did when we started… when I dragged her into it at Fallen Angels after the dance competition I hosted and sooooo many asked her to teach there.
Now… Rya doesn’t do this for herself.  Rya teaches for her STUDENTS.  For people like the beginners, who have never done this before and are scared to try… for people like those who quit because one wannabe ‘Master’ supposed dance expert told them that they weren’t good enough, that they were crap, that they weren’t enticing a man and they HAD to be doing that… and for people like me, who have been doing it for years and have not been able to write a complete dance since October of 2012.  I’m just… stuck… and Rya has helped so much.  So much so that as of tonight, April 9th, 2013… I finished my first dance since October.  Granted, the emotes are rough, and will take proofreading, tweaking, refining, etc… but I DID it.  I FINISHED a dance.  And I would not have been able to do that without Rya.
So… there truly are selfless people out there… that give and give and give so much of themselves for the benefit of other people, and getting nothing ‘material’ out of it themselves.  And on the flip-side of that, there are those who take and take and take with no real desire to give back and make an effort on behalf of themselves.  Unfortunately, one of Rya’s students is one such person.
One of the first things that Rya does in her basics class is outline two class rules.  The basic jist of it is that you need to be in the dance class because you WANT to be there.  Do NOT be in the class because it’s what your Master or Mistress wants.  All do respect to the Masters/Jarls and Mistresses out there… but a girl is not going to truly be a good dancer if she’s doing it merely to please You.  If she doesn’t want it for herself.. if she doesn’t want to master that skill to make herself help… if she doesn’t desire to dance for herself… then she can emote and play animations all she wants to… but her heart will NEVER be there.  I believe this is where this particular student got lost.  She CLAIMED to us, and her Owner even claimed to us, that the girl was in the class because she WANTS to be there… and NOT just to please her Owner… but words and actions do not seem to match.
This girl did not, on the outside, appear to be struggling.  She seemed to keep up with the rest of the class… she seemed to be enjoying herself, enjoying the learning process, enjoying taking it step by step and learning DANCE, rather than walking into a class saying, “This is how you do GOREAN dance, this is the ONLY way to do Gorean dance, oh… and by the time you leave here, I want you to write a dance for your graduation… but I’m going to teach you the ONE way you HAVE to do it.”  This particular student seemed to value and embrace and be truly enjoying the individuality nurtured in Rya’s classes.  I was thrilled for her.
Then, two weeks ago, this girl tried to quit.  She was in tears, her heart was hurting, she didn’t feel like she understood how to put together a dance…. she was overwhelmed… and she didn’t feel like she could reach out for help.  She sent a message to Rya, heartwrenching, about how she had to quit because she was “too stupid” to dance.  She didn’t feel she would ever understand.  Rya tp’d her into the class and she proceeded to repeat her feelings in voice, her voice cracking with the tears.  She seemed truly heartbroken that she couldn’t understand.  We spent the entire last half of this class, rather than continuing a lesson, trying to encourage her… trying to tell her stories of, “This is what happened to me, this is how I got through it… you can get through it too… you have all of us here with you…”  Everyone really pulled together to lift this girl up and make her believe she could do it.
And she left the class supposedly encouraged.
Now, I’m not sure if this occurred before or after this initial message, but Rya has stated openly that she’s spent and ENTIRE night with this girl, trying to help her understand, working with her individually .. just as she would do with all of us.  Rya wanted to be sure this girl got the help she needed… she never sets out to see a student fail.  She gives us every opportunity available to succeed.  Rya gave so much of herself to this girl, and this girl took all she was given.
The problem lies in the fact that this girl seemed to want Rya to do it all for her.  She took everything Rya gave her, but then she never got to the point of wanting to APPLY it for HERSELF.  It became very clear, very fast that this girl did not want to put the EFFORT into dancing.  It’s not that she was “too stupid”… that’s an excuse.  And it became very apparent when this message was sent to our dance teacher:

“i am writting this to you to inform you that i need to leave your classes! i do not have the patience for it! when i think of dance it becomes a head ache! its become a chore! not something fun to do ! but if i can give you one suggestion. when a girl says she is struggling perhaps try to help her more then just showing her what you have done! yea it was great but it did not help at all i felt like a urt in a cage i was so lost i was so helpless when it comes to that dance shit! so please i thank you for your time!”

I have a zillion and a half things wrong with this message, but allow me to clue you in on two points in particular.  First:

 “but if i can give you one suggestion. when a girl says she is struggling perhaps try to help her more then just showing her what you have done!”

Unfortunately, that’s all we can do.  When people are struggling in dance, we can’t do much more than tell them about a similar experience… about a block we got past… about a dance we wrote around a similar topic… we can only try to relate and make suggestions.  We CANNOT, however, WRITE YOUR DANCE FOR YOU.  And unfortunately, that seemed to be exactly what this girl wanted Rya to do.  She wanted Rya to say, “Oh, well your desire is this?  Well here, write it this way…”  She wanted Rya to be like every other Gorean teacher out there and say, “THIS is the ONE way you have to do this… and if you DON’T do it this way, you’re WRONG.”  She wanted Rya to give her an outline of specifically how to write her dance… rather than putting any actual EFFORT into it herself.  Mistake #1.  But why would she want to be that lazy and not write her own dance and rather expect someone else to do it for her?  Especially if she truly DESIRED to dance, just as she told us and her Owner told us.  I believe the second thing I want to point out to you speaks to that:

“i was so helpless when it comes to that dance shit!”

Dance. Shit.  “Dance shit.”  Seriously?  SERIOUSLY?!  That is not someone who truly DESIRES to learn how to dance… that is not someone who truly desires to dance.  That is not a dancer.  That is not someone who has dance in her heart.  That is not someone who overflows with a desire so deep to dance that she just can’t stand it until she learns.

This is someone who has not only taken advantage of her dance teacher… but of her fellow students.  She has monopolized time that the other students could have been learning.  She played all of us for a fool with her emotional expressions of disappointment… supposedly feeling like she was “too stupid” to learn, when the fact of the matter is, she’s not “too stupid”… she just doesn’t want to put forth the effort.

Unfortunately for the lazy, dance takes EFFORT from YOU in order to do it.  No one can write your dance for you.  And if someone does, it’s not YOUR dance, it’s theirs.

Though I guess if you can be satisfied spending your life performing someone else’s dances about someone else’s desires and losing yourself in the thicket of someone else’s life and world and not have a TRUE identity of your own… then more power to you, I guess.

Just don’t claim you want to be a dancer and waste our time.  You don’t want to be a dancer.  You want to be lazy.

And just as an added P.S. for the world of blogreaders to know: THIS GIRL WAS IN THENTIS.  RYA’S MASTER WENT TO THENTIS TO TRY AND FIND THIS HER MISTRESS TO DISCUSS THE ISSUE CIVILLY… AND THENTIS DECIDED TO DEFEND HER.  If Gorean cities defend the princesses that they create, then there is absolutely no hope for SL Gor.  Currently, there’s certainly no hope for Thentis.  (Which is unfortunate, given how there’s also no hope for Ko-Ro-Ba… see the last post for more info on that.)

In all things, always,
Tivi Shenzhou-Darkfold

Confession #11: Arrogance WILL Destroy You…

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(This picture will make more sense in a moment… found via Google)

Ok.  Let’s have a little bit of a chat about Gor, shall we?  Before we get into what I want to get into tonight, let me straighten out a few facts for you:
  1. Gor is a FANTASY.  Gor is FICTION.
  2. There are plenty of styles of dance.  There is not just Gorean dance.  In addition, most of these styles of dance existed BEFORE the Gor novels were written and published.  Some fusion styles may have come later, and obviously some fad styles like Gangnam Style and the Harlem Shake came after, but dance styles, as a whole, existed before the Gor novels were written.
  3. People in Second Life are just that, people.  No one is a “real” Gorean.  Again, please see #1.  As much as people who participate in Gorean roleplay love to hate on people who are involved in D/s or M/s relationships outside of Gor… the fact of the matter is that people who engage in “RL Gorean relationships” aren’t in Gorean relationships at all.  I mean, unless my next door neighbor needs extra driveway space because He has to park his TARN… and unless my father needs to worry that he’s going to be killed on the street over a female he’s speaking with and grabs ass on… we are not living on Gor.  So if you take the fantasy elements out of Gor… you’re living in a *gasp* M/s relationship.
Alright, now that I think I have that established, let’s chat a little bit about a situation that a friend of mine encountered.
Dance troupes are cropping up all over Gor nowadays, which is awesome.  Because when I first started admitting to being a Gorean competition dancer, as well as a troupe dancer outside of Gor… and I thought it would be awesome to bring Troupe dancing into Gor, much along the lines of Dancepit Raiders of Gor… I was told that to bring troupe dancing into Gor would be “non-Gorean”.  And then I was told that the fact that I was splitting my attention between more than one kind of dance meant that I couldn’t truly be a Gorean dancer.  I felt like I was going to be burned at the stake simply because I devoted my time to the art of Gorean dance as well as the art of Burlesque dance or Modern dance, or or or… there are other styles of dance, but at that point in time, the Gorean Dance community was so elitist that they didn’t seem to want to acknowledge that.
After me, a few other “well-known” (whatever that means… it’s all subjective… lol) Gorean dancers took steps out into other styles of dance and were commended.  Groups of Goreans began doing burlesque dancing, modern dancing… getting involved in pre-existing troupes or starting their own.
Later on, more Gorean dance troupes began to pop up.  Dance Pit Raiders were still going strong, which was awesome to see.  And then a dance troupe that had been apparently existed before this sudden surge in Gorean troupe dancing, though a lot of us had never seen nor heard of them, was the Ko-Ro-Ba dance troupe.
Thanks to Kamini’s Gorean Dance blog, we are starting to get all of these troupes and classes and other things all in one place… where we can see the variety of things that exist in Gor, and we can pick and choose for ourselves.  We can go to the blog on an evening when we have nothing to do and look for something.
Or, in the case of a friend of mine, she was looking for dance opportunities in Gor.  She went to the blog, clicked on the “Dance Troupes” link, and found the Ko-Ro-Ba Dance Troupe.  Here is an excerpt of the information provided on the blog about this particular troupe:

It was started by slave maralyn demar, followed by tersa vella, and to the present first girl, brit darbyshire.   The purpose of the Ko-ro-ban Dance Troupe is to greet and entertain the Ubars guests at the Tournament of Towers every other Friday night from 5pm – 6pm slt.

Even to me, who had never heard of this until my friend brought my attention to her situation, this sounds like a pretty awesome opportunity for anyone.  The description goes on to say that the dancers come from all around Gor to join the group.  In looking at the provided picture, I recognize a few dancers from across Gor, some of which who cascade in and out of various states of being owned and released and uncollared for awhile and then Owned by someone else.  And now, given that I’ve never actually seen this troupe before, because I do not frequent Ko-Ro-Ba, I cannot say for sure that these girls were not removed from the troupe when they were uncollared until such time as they found an Owner again… but something tells me this is highly unlikely.

Now, I say this because a friend of mine mentioned something in a dance class that she’d discussed with our dance teacher.  They relayed most of the situation to me in summary/synopsis of the situation… and I have to say I’m kinda appalled.

To begin, this friend did what the blog mentioned to do… she spoke with the current leader of the troupe.  From what I am told, this leader went to a Master that was in charge, and that Master came back, saying that my friend could not join the group because she is unowned.  The leader of the dance troupe had the unfortunate job of telling my friend this.

Now… I have my reactions to this… but that will come later.  My friend was very hurt and upset by this reaction, and took it upon herself to politely enter the IMs of the Master that made that decision.  Now, keep in mind, as real as Second Life might be to some of us, in that we recognize that our interactions with people are with real people and not with pixels… Second Life is still an online medium, Gor is still a fantasy roleplay, and as such Instant Messages (IMs) are deemed to be out of character, as they are not taking place in local chat on the same sim in a roleplay situation.  So, when this friend entered into this man’s IMs, it was just that… one PERSON attempting to communicate to another PERSON.

She was very polite to this man.  She expressed her desire to join the dance troupe, reiterated the issue that she was unowned, but expressed that her desire is simply to dance.  This is a woman that has a passion to dance… it is something that is in her heart, something she loves to do, something she wants to do, something that she is (clearly) actively seeking out opportunities to do MORE of.  This is something that should be cherished in people and nurtured in them, because the passion in dance is not as great as it should be, as it used to be.  It’s not as close to dying as it has been in the past, but it has certainly not fully recovered either.  We should nurture those with a passion for dance.  But anyway, that is how my friend opened this conversation.  This was this man’s first excuse:

[2013/03/22 18:58]  “Person”: understood but permission must be given by an owner

This is perfectly understandable, especially since the troupe is Gorean.  This is where being unowned would present an issue.  And I’m sure, that because this man is SO intent on these set rules, that any time a girl on the troupe is released and uncollared, that she is removed from the team until such a time as she has an Owner to give her permission.  And I’m sure that any time any of these girls change Ownership, that this man personally takes it upon himself to immediately seek out this new Owner to be sure that the girl has continued permission to participate.  And if he doesn’t, then he’s a hypocrite.  Because he’s denying this woman who has a passion for dance, due to a standard that he holds.  And if he does not hold that same standard for all girls, then it’s called a “double standard”.  And double standards are unethical, they are dishonorable, they are disrespectful, and they are hypocritical.  So, assuming this man is an honorable man who holds all the girls to the same standard, then this would be a perfectly understandable issue.

My friend came up with a nice solution to the problem.  She simply wants to dance, and she wanted to do so, so badly that she was trying to compromise and try to come to some kind of middle ground:

[2013/03/22 19:01]  Friend: could a Master who’s a friend give me a permission

Perfectly acceptable solution.  Luckily for me, at instances when I was unowned, I was entering dance competitions that only required permission if your owner requires permission.  If I ever entered a dance competition that required permission, I was always able to go to a respected Man that would agree to give me permission, and it was always accepted for the dance competition.  To see my friend come to this compromise herself made me smile.

Instead of actually answering the question, he decides to go along a completely different line of questioning:

[2013/03/22 19:05]  “Person”: why do you want to dance in the troupe 

Another perfectly logical question to ask.  If my friend were to come back to him with something ridiculous like, “Omg this is the most well known troupe in Gor and I want to be a famous Gorean dancer!” then I could totally see him being like, “Um, come back when you understand the word humility.”  Instead, this was my friend’s response:

[2013/03/22 19:05]  Friend: i love to dance, it’s my passion

Again, we see the simple desire to dance in a passion-filled new dancer.  I see no issue with this.  Though he goes on to ask another perfectly logical question:

[2013/03/22 19:06]  “Person”: why the ko-ro-ba troupe

As I said, another perfectly logical question.  And if my friend were in it for the wrong reasons, then I would totally understand sending her stepping.  If she were a group hopper, if she were trying to get into the pants of one of the Men who helps run it, etc etc etc… then ok, I could understand.  But this girl is TOTALLY not like that.  I can attest to this.  This was shown in her responses:

[2013/03/22 19:07]  Friend: i want to dance in as many places as possible, i saw the troupe on a website, i’m somewhat familiar with ko-roba, thought it would be fun, i have seen the dancers before

Now, it appears that this man has ADD, because instead of addressing her passion-filled response, he goes back to address the issue of a Master who’s a friend giving her permission to participate:

[2013/03/22 19:11]  “Person”: if you cause trouble I can’t send you to your master for punishment since you don’t have one 

*Pause while attempting to wrap her head around this concept*  Mmk.  So.  You’re going to tell me that you don’t want to let this girl dance because you can’t send her pixels to another set of pixels to be beaten with a whip made out of more pixels?  Because the only way that a PERSON would be sent to their Master for PUNISHMENT for causing trouble would be in the context of a roleplay situation.  One would hope that if you are doing something that is out of the context of roleplay… like running a dance group… that if someone were causing trouble, you would approach them in their Out Of Character IMs like an adult and deal with it with them, like an adult.  The problem with getting other people involved in OOC situations is that it just becomes drama and situations get blown out of proportion and life just gets really messy.  If we’re not roleplaying, the bring your concerns directly to the person in an Out Of Character IM and be like, “Hey, stop acting like you have no right good sense or you’re going to have to take a trip to the corner of the sim.”  It really isn’t that hard to speak like adults.  I promise it’s not.  And this is coming from someone who has a temper.  It’s really not hard to speak to someone like adults.

Ok.  So… anyway… my friend offers this simple reassurance:

[2013/03/22 19:12]  Friend: i will not cause trouble Master, it’s not who i am as a person or submissive

She was speaking to her own character.  She was offering her WORD that she would not cause trouble.  Honestly, that’s something you could hold her to.  I know if she spoke to me about something like that and I was considering whether or not to allow her to join a group I was running, if I didn’t know her, I might very well say, “Ok, I will allow you to join on a provisional basis… but if I get an ounce of trouble from you, we’re going to have to have a sit-down.”  Very simple solution, holding her to her word.  And within the first week or so you’re going to know if she’s true to her word or not.  Peoples’ true colors always come out.

Anyway… the next comment, and the subsequent conversation thereafter… is the reason that I posted this blog… and the part that REALLY irritated me:

[2013/03/22 19:13]  “Person”: you are not being very submissive now

Excuse you?  Bless her heart she’s affording this man the In Character courtesy of someone who calls themselves a Master… in an out of character IM.  She has been nothing but respectful to this person who has so far done nothing but play a counter-productive game of 20 questions with her.  But ok, she’s not being very submissive.  Let’s assume that’s true.  *Rolls her eyes*  Her next response would prove quite the contrary:

[2013/03/22 19:13]  Friend: may i please ask why, Master 

See?  See?  This woman has been nothing but respectful to this guy who is proving to be 50 Shades of anything but a Master.  But anyway, she is being very polite and cordial and respectful.  She is showing just how submissive her heart really is, in her inability to shove her boot so far up his ass that his grandchildren would taste it.  (Yeah, I took a quote from a rather unethical pageant organizer, but hey… it’s applicable.)  His response:

[2013/03/22 19:14]  “Person”: you are being rather aggressive in trying to in the troupe, and a slave would have taken my answer and not questioned it

*Irritated sigh*  First off… I wouldn’t exactly call this woman “aggressive” in any sense of the word.  Passionate?  Yes.  Desiring to dance?  Yes.  Trying to get a fair chance in this group?  Yes.  Aggressive?  No.  “Aggressive” tends to have a pretty negative connotation, just as it did here, when this man tried to use the word against her as a weapon.  The first dictionary definition of the word aggressive is as follows: “characterized by or tending toward unprovoked offensives, attacks, invasions, or the likes; militantly forward or menacing.”  I really have to laugh at this definition, because this passionate dancer that is my friend is FAR from menacing.  And throughout this ENTIRE conversation, this woman was never once on the offensive.  In fact, she was on the DEFENSIVE, just attempting to defend herself as a woman who wants to dance, when she was outright told she could not.  So no, this friend of mine is not “aggressive”… sorry to say.

The OTHER part of that statement really gets me.  “a slave would have taken my answer and not questioned it.”  Are you a “Weal and Twue Master”?  This is one of those statements that falls under the category of “ridiculous shit that wannabe Masters say”.  It is joined very closely by statements like: “You won’t come over and kneel for me, even though I don’t own you, so you’re not a real slave”, “You’re not a true submissive because you won’t suck my cock on command, when I don’t own you”, “You mean you won’t submit to me and think it’s too soon?  We met 15 minutes ago!  You’re not a real slave!”  The other thing is that this is an Out Of Character IM.  This is a conversation between TWO PEOPLE.  NOT a Master and a slave.  So the fact that a slave wouldn’t question His word, even if that’s true in the context of roleplay, the conversation wasn’t roleplay.  As a person, it is fully her right to stand up for herself and question and try to find middle ground and an opportunity to dance.  THAT is what she was doing.  She was not being aggressive, and she was not trying to be a slave to a Master.  It’s an IM.  Out Of Character.  Have I stated that enough yet?

Anyway, I’m skipping a little bit of conversation, but the general synopsis is that my friend reminds him that she’s not a slave, she’s a submissive.  He actually has the balls to tell her that the “problem” with submissives is that they can say no, where slaves cannot.  I wouldn’t call that a problem, but hey, to each their own.  The next useful part of the conversation was a question from him which was, again, another perfectly logical question:

[2013/03/22 19:20]  “Person”: other than what you have said, give me one reason why I should let you dance in my city dance troupe

Again, perfectly logical question.  And I had to smile again at the answer my friend offered to him:

[2013/03/22 19:21]  Friend: because i would bring honor to your city with my dancing, Master 

I just have to have a mini outburst, forgive me.  YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT SHE WOULD.  This girl is one of the meekest, shy, quietest, most prim and proper women I know.  I was a little scared to talk to her when I first met her, as quiet as she was, I was afraid she’d find me annoying just for trying to have a casual conversation with her.  But get this woman on the sands… and she’s a completely different person.  She’s a wonderful dancer… a wonderful person… and she brings honor to the names of all who know her and claim her as friend when she dances.  You’d be DAMN lucky to have this woman dancing with you.  Ok.  Ending random mini outburst.  He certainly has some balls to ask the return question he responded with:

[2013/03/22 19:22]  “Person”: what does a girl know of honor

At this point, this woman has more honor her her little pinky toe than this man has in his entire body, let alone his ego-enlarged head.  Seriously?  You’re going to ask a HUMAN BEING what she knows about honor, simply because she’s a submissive?  Submissives fully understand the concept of honor, because why in the hell would they want to be owned by an unhonorable man?  They understand honor because they have to look for it when they look for an Owner.  They have to understand the concepts of honesty, integrity, honor, trustworthiness, transparency… they need to understand them so that they can seek them out.  Because how can we seek that which we do not understand?  So to say that she wouldn’t know honor just because she’s a submissive… *sighs*  Ignorance is such an unfortunate trait to possess… and this man seems to possess it in abundance.

And while I just sit here and ranted about the ignorance that this man has shown, my friend defended herself beautifully.

[2013/03/22 19:25]  Friend: i might not be a kajira, Master. but their are some parts of the gorean that i do like and follow. i believe in justice, honesty and passion, to and for everybody, i always try to do the right thing. do i always succeed? no, because i am human. but i always try to correct my errors

*Applauds her friend*  Awesomely said.  And an awesome way to be.  But of course, this guy seems to have lost all sense of the concept of honor or integrity or anything resembling human emotion or the IQ higher than that of a brazil nut… and he shows this in his resposne (I will be skipping a few of my friend’s responses to get the fullness of what he says):

 [2013/03/22 19:28]  “Person”: but you have to kajira to dance, you have to dress like a kajira, you see these girls don’t play at being slaves. they are slaves in RL. they live to please, to them its not a game

First… allow me to respond to that in the following way.  BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH.  I have SEEN some of these girls.  And I’m sorry, but most of these girls are roleplayers in the online medium of Second Life, roleplaying slaves behind the backs of their spouses.  At the end of the day, they click the red “x” and that’s it for them.  It’s very rare that I meet people in Gor that are truly slaves in RL.  And there’s no issue with that.  But for this man to be like, “these girls don’t play at being slaves.  they are slaves in RL.”  To quote my dance teacher in something we both love to say, I’m going to take the opportunity to call “BULLLLLSHIIIIIT.”

He proceeds to tell her that she was not a true kajira in her former relationship with her Master, that she could not be a true slave if she did not serve him in the way that these girls supposedly serve, because she used to have a safeword in her relationship.  To end the conversation, he proceeds to have the balls to tell my friend the following:

[2013/03/22 19:38]  “Person”: you may be a great dancer but you just don’t understand the heart of a kajira dancer

And who named you the god of all that is Gorean dance?  Who died and gave you the authority to assess whether or not a woman you do not know understands the heart of a Gorean dancer.  And I’ll tell you what… actually… no… I’ll hold off a minute.  Because this is how my friend responded:

[2013/03/22 19:39]  Friend: i have the heart of a dancer, that is all i need

A-fucking-men!  THAT is what the dance community as a whole, and specifically the Gorean dance community, has been missing all this time. In Gor, there are all these people who try to tell you that you have to write in third person for your emotes because that’s proper grammar, and you have to write your dances exactly how they were in the books or it’s not Gorean, and that you have to write in dance faction and focus on over-describing the movements that you can already see rather than trying to give insight into feelings that cannot be seen, and that if you DO try to draw focus to those unseen feelings then you’re a “storyteller” and are better off in a storytelling competition because what you’re doing is not dance.  All of these people will find all these different ways to discourage girls who want to dance, and you know what?  That’s pretty sad.  No, that’s not a strong enough way to say that.  Let me rephrase.  That’s pretty FUCKING sad.  I make no apologies if my language offends you because frankly, those of you that are so intent on tearing down the women like my friend who have a heart to dance and just WANT TO DANCE… you offend me.  I am OFFENDED that this community focuses more on tearing dancers down rather than building it up.  I’m OFFENDED when men like this are respected for being not a Master at all, but an irritable prick with a stick up his ass.  I’m offended by every last one of you who has ever told a dancer they’re doing something “wrong”.  There is no right or wrong in dance.  Dance is dance is dance.  And the sooner you learn that, the better of the community as a whole will be, because we won’t have your judgmental egos blocking the view of some beautiful dancers who will emerge.

And to prove just how hopeless this man really is in his understanding of dance, he response:

[2013/03/22 19:39]  “Person”: I said the heart of a kajira dancer, a dancer of Gor

Newsflash, dude: Dance is dance is dance.  And a dancer is a dancer is a dancer.  We may specialize in one style or another… but we are all simply dancers.  There is no difference in our hearts… as we all have desires, and we all express them through the art of dance.  Period.  No ifs, ands, buts.  No “but it has to be Gorean”. No “but you have to be a slave”.  None of that bullshit that plagues our community today.  None of it.

The fact of the matter is this: This woman has the heart and desire to dance.  This woman is a wonderful dancer.  You might think that you would be doing the “kajirae” a disservice to allow this woman to dance with you, but I can assure you, you did yourself a greater disservice by dismissing her.

I cannot sit here and morally support what this man does with the Ko-Ro-Ba Dance Troupe.  To summarize it, this man promotes double standards and hypocrisy… spits on the names of “ethics”, “honor”, and “integrity” and then dares to claim he understands the meaning of any of those things… and clings to the elitist mentality that plagues the Gorean Dance Community today.  It is men like him that gives the Gorean Dance Community in Second Life the cut-throat, elitist reputation that it so disdainfully possesses, and clearly he is going to drag the Ko-Ro-Ba Dance Troupe down with him.

My heartfelt pity to the girls involved in the promoting of such ideas and such dishonor.

Peace, Love, and Dance:
Tivi Darkfold (Tiviyah Resident)